Page 49 of Destined to the Lycan
“Fair point,” I concurred. “He also doesn’t smell like you. In fact, I didn’t really notice any scent from him. And he also doesn’t feel like you or look at me like you do. His speech is different. It’s subtle but he doesn’t quite roll his Rs the way you do. And he doesn’t have those cute orange specks in your right eye,” I added tracing his right eyebrow with my index finger.
“Someone has truly been paying attention to me,” Remus said, his face melting with tenderness.
“I most certainly have,” I replied, puffing out my chest. “But how do you know I’m not him?”
He burst out laughing. “Not a chance. No one possesses as intoxicating a scent as you do. No one else in this world sets my blood ablaze and whips my heat into a frenzy like merely being in your present does,” he replied, tapping the tip of my nose with a finger.
I beamed at him. Then he took on a mischievous expression.
“Anyway, Lyall wouldn’t have thrown himself into my arms. He wants to eat me, not kiss me.
My smile faded upon hearing those words, as the stark reality of our situation cast aside the joy of our reunion.
“Where is he?” I asked, glancing over his shoulder to peer at the cave’s entrance.
“He left, and the illusion faded,” Remus replied in a grim tone. “I had been frantically looking for you, but he had me trapped in some kind of a nightmare.”
“We should leave in case he decides to return,” I said with a shudder.
To my surprise, Remus firmly shook his head. “No. Night is already upon us. We will stay here and leave in the morning.”
“Here?” I echoed, casting a wary look at our surroundings before locking eyes with him again. “Is it safe? Aren’t we in the middle of the Haunted Woods?”
“As odd as this will sound, yes, but I believe we’re safe.”
He took my hand and led me to the large rock I had been sitting on. He settled down and drew me into his lap. Remus then proceeded to recount his search, the fight against the Arraphilons, followed by his conversation with Lyall.
Once he finished, I recounted my own encounter with the doppelganger, the terrifying test he subjected me to against Ranael, and then my conversation here with him. I had to calm him down during the part with Ranael and remind him it had only been an illusion. Still, he hated that I endured any kind of pain, fake though it had been.
“You know, Lyall is in love with you,” Remus said at last, his gaze boring into mine as he studied my response to his words.
I burst out laughing. “No he’s not. He met me barely an hour ago. I can’t tell if he’s just infatuated or the type to covet what he can’t have, but I wouldn’t call it love,” I said with an indulgent smile.
To my surprise, Remus shook his head firmly. “You’re wrong. It is not an infatuation,” he countered with the conviction that took me aback. “Lyall drank your blood. Through it, he has read every single moment of your past. He knows you more intimately than you know yourself, and probably better than I ever will even if we spend the rest of our lives together. He has absorbed a lifetime of memories and emotions that you’ve experienced, even those that you have repressed or aren’t conscious of. And whatever he saw entranced him.”
I frowned, feeling conflicted by his words. A part of me understood how exploring someone’s psyche at such an intimate level could create a powerful bond. In which case, I empathized with the fact that he might now feel these emotions and likely also understand I couldn’t reciprocate them. That would explain the defeated expression he showed in the end. But another part of me felt violated that he plundered what should be the most private thing anyone possessed.
“He wanted me to surrender you to him,” Remus added softly. “Naturally, I refused.”
My brow creased as I digested his words.
“How did you convince him to leave?”
“I cannot say thatIconvinced him per se. Ultimately, he made that decision on his own. I didn’t exactly refuse to give you up, but I also didn’t consent.”
“What? What does that even mean?” I asked, confused.
“I asked him to tag along and help keep you alive until we reached Ranael.” He smiled at my flabbergasted expression and gently caressed my hair. “Your survival is all that matters, Amara. I cannot decide for you whether you should stay with him and benefit from the healing he could offer without putting your life at risk by facing the demon wolf. Whether you stay with him or continue the journey with me has to be your choice.”
“My choice is to continue the journey with you,” I said in a tone that brooked no argument.
He smiled and kissed my forehead. “The fact that he tried to convince me to release you told me that you had already turned him down. What he offers is not a solution. It would simply make you forever dependent on him. We must try for therealcure so that you can live freely according to your own terms, and not at the mercy and by the grace of someone else.”
“Those were my thoughts exactly,” I replied. “But thank you for not trying to decide for me or take away my freedom of choice.”
“I respect you too much for that, my Flame.”
“And I love you for it. However, I can’t help but wonder if he’s right.”
