Page 58 of All Inn Thyme
We both pull back after a while and his eyes are on mine. “I really love you, Mel.”
“I love you, too,” I say, still breathless.
“I want it to be right when we do this,” he says, holding me tight.
“What do you need for it to be right?”
Sadness creeps in, along with guilt that I can’t be without the baggage that I’m carrying from my past.
He doesn’t take it further, just kisses me once more for reassurance, and puts out the fire as we finally go inside.
“I want it to be perfect when we’re finally together. Good night, Mellie,” he whispers as he tucks me into bed and turns on the lamp, kissing me one last time before he heads to his room down the hall. My heart catches that he remembered that I wanted the light on, but I hadn’t even realized they were off.
18. ty
I need her and she needs me.
I want more with her,but not until I can be fully honest about who I am and why I’m here in Freedom Valley. She deserves that, and I want what we have to be built on truths—not half-truths or whatever this is. I know I’m doing the right thing, but it doesn’t mean it makes me feel good about it all. Sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t feel like the right thing, but I know in my heart that this is going to work. You don’t have what we have and not believe it's going to work out. Somehow, I just know it will.
I finish my shift with Sam Sr. and start to put away my tools. Sam wraps up his own project for the day—a motorcycle he’s fixing for one of his biker friends—and washes his hands in the industrial sink stained with oil and grease.
“What’s up?” I ask him.
I’ve liked working with Sam Sr. here at the shop. He’s been a good boss to me, and he’s made it a hell of a lot less lonely here, especially before I met Mellie and the crew at the inn. He and his local motorcycle club, the Eastern Bones, have taken me under their wing. I’m not an official member and don’t have an interest in being one, but I have become good friends with a lot of them and fixed things for them when I can. I look forward to rides with them, and I may not wear the cut they wear, but I’d consider a lot of them good friends.
“Not much. Just staying busy,” he says, but he looked sidetracked when we worked together on an engine of a motorcycle we’re rebuilding. I had to call him back to the job and help him focus several times, so I know something is bothering him.
“How’s it going having your son home?” I say as I look up to where my old apartment was, where Sam Jr. stays now.
He runs a hand over his beard. “He’s not doing well. Hasn’t come down in a while. I can’t seem to get through to him.”
“What’s going on?” I pause with concern. I know Sam Jr. came back from the military, and that he has PTSD and other things going on. Sam has been hesitant to talk about it, but I know it’s been bothering him.
“I don’t know. I feel like I’m losing him.” He looks worried. “I think it’s just going to take some time. His last tour overseas really messed him up.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Sam.” I’ve gone through some similar stuff on the job, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But, of course, I can’t tell Sam this.
“Yeah. We’re just trying to be here for him. He’s been working at night when no one is around. I think he’s having trouble sleeping and I know he wants to be alone, but now I’m wondering if that’s helping.”
“I’m happy to talk to him if you think it will help.”
“I know. I appreciate it. I’ll ask him tonight. How’re things going with your new living situation?”
I run my hands under the water and wash them several times to get the grease stains off. “It’s good. It’s nice not coming home to an empty house, you know?”
“I know exactly what you’re saying. Been coming home to an empty place for years now.”
I don’t know a lot about Sam Sr., but I do know he raised Sam Jr. and his sister alone as a single father. He’s close with his motorcycle club, but I’ve never heard him talk about having a woman in his life.
We work together in silence as we close the shop for the night until Sam says, “Would you ever think about coming on here full-time? I’ve got a full-time opening coming up when Tony leaves at the end of summer. I know you’re over at the factory, but maybe this could be an option…”
I think about it and wish it really were a possibility. The façade of the life I’m living right now with working at Larkin and then coming home to Mellie and Kase is probably not really an option. But damn if it doesn’t feel like the life I want to be living.Shouldbe living. If only the timing were right.
“I’ll think about it. Thanks for the offer.” That’s all I can really say for now. We’ll see how things unfold and if his offer still stands in the upcoming weeks.
“You’re a damn good mechanic, Flynn.”
I don’t need to think about it—I want it. It would be great to work here full-time and make a life here. But unfortunately, when this assignment wraps up, I have no idea where my real job will take me. I haven’t been able to be honest with Mellie or anyone else here because I can’t jeopardize my assignment. When I can, I only hope they’ll accept me and understand that I did what I had to do.
