Page 28 of Falling Inn Love
My hand instinctively goes to hers and I hold it and pull her in tighter to me. “Tell me about him.”
“His name was John. I haven't been able to be with anyone since. I feel a little guilty. Like I’m cheating on him.”
“What was he like?”
She stares off for a while, like she’s thinking about what exactly she wants to share with me. “He was a great man, a great friend, and a great husband. He coached football and he always made sure to check in on his players. You could count on him to be there for the people he loved. We had great memories, and I loved our life together. I feel like we were just getting started, and then it was just… over. Quickly. It just ended, before it could even really begin. I’ve been lost ever since, just drowning in grief.”
I pull her closer. I don’t know what to say; I only know I want to be there for her. I can tell it was big step for her to share this with me, and I’m so glad she’s finally letting me in a little bit. I’ll be damned if I’m not going to go all in with her and let her know she can trust me with this.
“Being with you scares me,” she finally says.
“Why?” I pull her into me, gently tucking her head under my chin.
“Because you make me believe in the future again,” she whispers into my chest. “A future of not running from my pain, a future with someone who loves me, a future with a family. To be honest, I’m not sure I can do that again.”
As much as I want to ask her what she means by this, I can tell it’s not the right time. She’s already shared so much with me tonight, and I want to give her the opportunity to tell me on her own terms. I just hold her closely, patiently waiting until she is ready to share more.
“I want to tell you more, but I don’t want to give you my pain to carry. I don’t want to give it to anyone. It’s heavy and exhausting, even for me.”
“That’s what people do when they’re together, Beth. They carry each other.” I’m not sure how to convey to her that I can be what she needs, that Iwantto be what she needs. When words fail me, I kiss her softly, and my lips melt into hers.
A shock wave surges through me as she kisses me back. I caress her face and neck with my fingertips and then kiss her ear. Her body arches for me, wanting more.
Her hands circle my neck and she runs her fingers through my hair. I pull her closer to me as my hands skim down the curves of her body. I cup her bottom, pulling her toward me, feeling her body pulse through mine.
I pull back and she takes a deep breath.
“I really like you,” she says, staring longingly at me.
“I really like you back.”
My gaze falls to her luscious neck, and I go in for another kiss.
“I don’t want to rush this, though,” she murmurs into my lips.“I’m still trying to heal and figure things out on my own, and I don’t want to rush before I’m ready.”
I lean back, trying not to show how disappointed I feel but also understanding where she’s coming from. I feel like we made a lot of progress tonight with her finally letting me in. Briefly, but I’ll take what I can get.
“Okay,” I whisper. “Let’s head back.”
Beth’s gaze meets mine, a combination of pure desire and sadness emanating in her eyes. “Okay,” she says and climbs into the truck.
She’s so hot and cold, but at least we’re getting warmer before we go back to cold. She’s worth it; I can feel it. I’ll chip away until she starts to trust me and fully lets me in.
FOURTEEN
BETH
I’ll take what I can get.
* * *
I shut the door to my room, lean back, and sink to the floor. I’m falling for him, and it’s bad. Or at least, itfeelsbad. I promised myself sixty days only, and this new ripple is not going to get in the way of my leaving. Or is it? Why am I doing this to myself?
I check my phone. It’s too late in Austin to call Cara. She’s probably already in bed.
Ugh. What am I even doing here? This was not part of the plan. No falling in love. No getting attached. Keep moving. Why can’t I keep it together?
I take out my notebook and make a list to help me sort out everything that’s going on in my scattered mind.
