Page 24 of Falling Inn Love
Then suddenly, the front door swings open and I jump back as a family enters—a father with a small kid on each arm and a mother holding her tiny infant.
My eyes lock onto the baby and I can remember my own heart and arms being full like that. I know I have to snap myself out of it—of both the way Evan’s kisses filled my soul and the emptiness created at the sight of this woman and her baby.
I do my best to flip into professional mode. “Welcome to The Golden Gable. Checking in?”
She struggles to get her wallet out of her diaper bag one-handed as her husband keeps the toddlers busy and out of trouble. She looks at me pleadingly and I smile my consent. She hands over her tiny baby to me. As I hold her, she immediately begins to calm. Her mother finally locates her wallet, looks relieved at both that and also to have a moment to breathe.
“You’re good with her,” she tells me. “Do you have any of your own?”
The spell that everything is okay with me and that I can handle seeing and interacting with babies now broken, I murmur softly, “No,” and hand the baby back to her mother, then busy myself with checking them in.
I can feel Evan’s eyes on me as I show the guests a map of the property and where their cottage is located. I hand the mother the keys and she thanks me as she heads out with her family. As they leave, however, I realize that wasn’t so bad—at least not as bad as it has been these past few years. Usually, when I see young families, my grief comes back and paralyzes me. But Evan had me so sidetracked with that kiss that I didn’t feel the usual pain and longing I would usually feel. Evan makes me feel everything good and the bad somehow disappears.
“You’re good with the guests,” he quips.
“I like people. I used to work with kids,” I say without thinking.
“Oh yeah? What did you do?”
“Kindergarten teacher,” I reply.
“You teach anymore?” he asks, his gaze penetrating me in a way that takes my breath away.
“No. I just—can’t anymore.” I don’t know what else to say, and he doesn’t press the issue. Instead, he opens an entirely more painful wound.
“Do you ever see yourself settling down and having a family?” he asks, his voice low and smooth.
“No,” I say firmly, my breath catching and my stomach dipping. “That’s not for me. I’m a nomad. A traveler.” But of course, I’m lying. I long for that. I want that more than anything in this world. I know that I was meant to be a wife and mother. I was meant for more than this. I just don’t think I deserve it.
“Okay…” he says, his eyes never leaving me. I know he’s not done with this topic. I can tell he probably knows I’m lying, too.
“Okay, what?”
“Just, okay,” he says confidently, then swaggers back to his office.
He wants me. He actually wants me. But the question is, will he want me when he knows what I did? Because some days I don’t even want me.
TWELVE
BETH
He likes me.
* * *
Later that evening,Mellie knocks on my door. She grins when I open it for her, which makes me believe she approves of my outfit. I wanted to look nice tonight. The thought of watching Evan strum his guitar at the bar with a band makes me swoon, and I want him to swoon, too. I haven’t felt this way about a man for a very long time. It feels so good to get dressed up and go out. I didn’t realize how much I needed this.
“Too much? Do I look okay?” I ask. I don’t have a lot of clothes with me. I’m not even sure how to dress anymore to go out.
“You look great,” she tells me. “I love those boots. Wow. Just, wow.”
I had on black, knee-high boots in suede with a black off-the-shoulder sweater and dark blue jeans. I curled my long hair and put in my contacts, along with some light makeup and dark berry lipstick.
Mellie is wearing a boho, knee-length dress in autumn tones—brown, orange, and beige. Her brown cowgirl boots, denim jacket, and hat tie her whole look together. She’s stunning without even trying.
“I love your outfit,” I tell her. “I’m glad we’re doing this.”
I’m being honest when I tell her that I’ve been so focused on hiding and working on my writing and freelancing over the past few years, I haven’t tried to make many new friends. In fact, I’ve done the complete opposite. It feels good to have a new friend.
