Page 28 of Adoringly, Edward
But it caused her heart to ache, nonetheless.
“Do you love him?” her mother asked quietly. They both knew she wasn’t speaking of the duke.
“Love is not a factor after what I face.”
“I loved and still love your father. I’ve always wanted you to find love for yourself as well. I’ve wanted it for you and all your siblings.”
Vivienne crossed the room in several strides, stroking the short strand of hair beneath the rest where she had cut it to give to Edward weeks ago. Could he have disposed of it after all this time? “I have loved him my entire life. In different ways, of course, throughout the years. But I would think I would be heartbroken to lose him now.”
“Then you mustn’t give up.”
Tears pooled in her eyes as she placed her hand over her belly. The task to make him fall in love with her, too, seemed impossible. But if she had one more day to catch his eye, then she wouldn’t rest until she accomplished the feat.
Vivienne rubbed her gloved hands together for warmth. An anxious breath escaped her as a cloud of frost from where she stood at the base of Edward’s tower. A dim light flickered from his window, but knowing he was up there caused nervous butterflies to flutter about in her stomach. She wasn’t normallyone to give into anxiety, but her entire future rested on one more adventure.
The snow had stopped, and judging by the gossip circulating the estate, most everyone predicted the majority would melt before tomorrow afternoon. One more day to woo Edward certainly was not enough time. A part of her feared his rejection should she fail.
The rock in her hand seemed to grow heavier the longer she stood staring up at the tower. The anxious part of her urged her to flee back into the house and let the matter drop. But another part of her recalled Edward’s tears earlier that week.
Why was he upset? Had something happened? What was the root of his sadness?
Remembering the devastation in his eyes gave her the courage she needed to pull back her arm and throw the rock toward the window. It missed the glass and bounced off the brick instead.
But Edward seemed to hear it, as the window creaked open moments later.
“Edward!” she hissed in the darkness. “Let down your hair!”
Right on time, his head appeared over the sill with a scowl on his face. “Might I point out thatyourhair is marginally longer thanmine?”
She only smiled at him, enjoying the way the dark strands fell over his face. His hair was chin-length at best. But she did so enjoy teasing him.
Plus, she found a moment to appreciate the silhouette of his build against the backdrop of the light from his room. He was handsome and had a body type she just adored—tall and long-limbed, but with enough muscle to make her feel safe and secure.
“Bundle up,” she ordered. “You’re coming down tonight.”
“I…” Edward cleared his throat from above. “I can’t tonight. I’m not…I’m not feeling well.”
“Oh, pish posh. If you are scared of me, why don’t you tell me outright?”
“I am not scared of you,” he defended. “I cannot do this.” He gestured between the two of them, though his meaning was lost on her. Was he speaking of their friendship? A romantic tryst? Sneaking out? Or was he truly not feeling well?
“You are going to have to be clearer,” she sang, “and stop speaking in riddles.”
He leaned against the window, and only then did she notice how pale he looked, almost as if hehadbeen ill all day. “If we are caught, it will ruin your chances with the duke. I can’t do that to you.”
A long, frustrated sigh escaped her. Mostly frustration at her situation. She was not interested in the duke, but she could not dismiss him entirely because of self-preservation and the good reputation of her family.
But she also needed to reel Edward in, so she told him the truth. “Duke Hastings is unsuccessfully trying to woo me. Now get down here, or I will find a way to climb up there.”
“Vivi…” Her name on his lips was almost pleading. Perhaps a warning.
“I have time.” No, she didn’t. “I want to find the right partner. Not the wrong one.”
After a long moment, he ducked back inside and closed the window behind him. And then the light snuffed out from within.
Her heart fell at the sudden dismissal, falling out of her chest and splatting on the ground. The man was secretive, keeping things from her. Why couldn’t he speak his mind? Tell her the truth? Confide in her?
Rather, he was dancing on eggshells, careful not to break them beneath his feet. But what if those eggshells were stronger than he realized?
