Page 39 of Adoringly, Edward
But when she shook her head, he slumped back in his seat, still reeling from the unexpected confession.
“I’m scared, Edward,” she whispered when a reply flitted out of his reach. “My entire family will be ruined if anyone learns of it. That’s why my mother feigned illness, to stay at your home and give me a chance to woo you. But you didn’t want to be wooed.”
He pulled away from her and buried his face in his hands. What terrible timing. Of course, he never should have taken liberties with her in the first place. But what was done was done. What was he supposed to do? He was dying, and because of it, he was ruining her life.
“Eight weeks,” he murmured finally, meeting her gaze within the chilly carriage. “The baby would be born nearly two months earlier than expected should you marrytoday.”
She blinked rapidly as if trying to keep tears from falling. “Why do you think I’ve been in a panic to find you?”
He groaned, rubbing a hand over his chest as his heart flipped and flopped inside him. “I didn’t know, Vivi. I didn’t know. You should have told me immediately.”
“Immediately?” Her hysterics rose exponentially as she blinked more rapidly than before. “Yourejectedme immediately when I asked you to seek me out for a dance.”
“What was I supposed to do?” he argued back. “My heart was too weak for dancing that day.”
“And you couldn’t have found another way to treat me rather than acting cold toward me? How hard would it have been to sit and talk?”
“I was in shock. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“No, no, no.” She swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. “All this time, I have been fighting foryou. And all you have been doing is pushing me away.”
“That’s unfair. Considering my lack of knowledge about your predicament, I was pushing you away to save you from a life with a man on his deathbed!”
It was the wrong thing to say, because the moment the words left his mouth, Vivienne burst into tears, sobs escaping her mouth. Rather than arguing back, she threw open the door of the carriage and disappeared.
Somehow, Edward gathered the strength he needed to pursue her. His head spun as he stumbled down the single step of the carriage. He ignored Barnaby’s grimace indicating he heard most, if not all, of their conversation. He ignored Cedric reaching out as if to steady him and chased after the woman he cared for most in this world.
The flap of green fabric drew his attention toward the entrance of the garden. He quickened his pace, his breaths coming too quick and his heart beating too fast. But they needed to have this conversation. Even if he had to crawl across hot coals to do it.
The moment she entered through green hedges, he grabbed onto her wrist to stop her from fleeing any farther.
“Answer me honestly,” he begged, gasping for air. “Is this why you have been dallying with the duke? To spite me? Or for your own protection?” He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment when the world spun, and opened them to find that his visionrefused to cooperate when he couldn’t keep his gaze steady. “You said he was unsuccessful at wooing you. Did you lie?”
“What other choice do I have?” she cried, wrenching her arm away from him and throwing her hands into the air. “I cannot reject him because what else can I do?”
Despite her anger and hurt toward him, he reached for her again, this time holding her hands more gently to try to convey his sincerity. Because he needed—wanted—to make this right. “Marryme. It will protect your reputation, and you will be provided for after I die.”
“Stop saying that,” she choked. “You cannot die. I won’t let you.”
His ears started ringing. A blackness attacked the edges of his vision like angry bees.
No!he shouted at himself, gripping tighter onto her hands to keep him grounded in the present. He could not have an episode now. This conversation was too important.
But even as he fought against it, his heart lost control within his chest. His pulse thrummed quickly through his veins. The darkness in his eyes gathered as thick, relentless clouds.
“I’ve always wanted,” he slurred, tipping precariously when he couldn’t seem to keep his feet beneath him. “I’ve always wanted…”
He dropped one of her hands to clutch his chest. He gasped in another breath, stumbling to the side as he tried to keep himself on his feet.
He heard shouting in the distance. Words escaped Vivienne’s mouth, her eyes wide with horror, but he couldn’t make out the sound when the ringing drowned his ears.
“Marry me,” he said again, pushing through his desperate proposal.
But then his body hit the ground with a thud, and the darkness overtook him.
“EDWARD!” VIVIENNE SCREAMED, kneeling at his side after he collapsed.
She lifted his head into her lap, her fingers fluttering uselessly over him as he struggled to breathe, each breath quick and seemingly painful when his expression contorted with agony.
