Page 25 of Adoringly, Edward
She didn’t stop him as he flung the door open, bracing himself against a bitter, snowy wind before stalking out of thehouse and into the gardens around the estate. The haze of white clung to his hair, eyelashes, and clothing. It obscured his vision of the path ahead. But still, he continued forward with one foot in front of the other until he could go no farther when his heart threatened to collapse him.
He slumped onto a bench covered in white powder, uncaring about the chill nor about getting his clothing wet. His heart flipped and flopped inside his chest, the rhythm disjointed and disorienting. His head spun. His pulse raced.
The terrible sensations had often been his constant companion. But he hadn’t always been prone to collapsing and sleeping days at a time. However, lately, he experienced more bad days than good.
He buried his face in his hand as emotion pricked at his eyes. There was still so much he wanted to do. So much he wanted to see and experience. He wanted to travel the kingdom. See the world. Sail distant waters. Experience life.
But he’d been locked in the blasted tower for most of his life to “keep him safe.” Well, what if he didn’t want to be safe? What more did it matter when he only had months left to live?
The soft crunch of snow gave away another presence. Rather than sadness, anger crashed into him. He dropped his hand and snarled at the newcomer, “I said leave me alone, Clara!”
“Edward…” a voice murmured, one definitely not belonging to his sister.
He inhaled sharply and swiped at his eyes, clearing his vision enough to view a beautiful brunette wearing a blue dress peeking out from beneath a green cloak. Vivienne stopped hesitantly several paces away, almost as if not knowing whether to approach or give him space.
“It’s best if you go home,” he said quietly, trying to rein his emotions back.
She gestured to the ever-growing white landscape. “In this weather? I don’t think it’s an option.”
“Then it’s best if you go inside.”
“Who do you think I am, Edward?”
“The niece of a king?” he answered feebly. It was all he could do. He was so tired. Sick and tired and absolutely exhausted. His body was failing him, and there was nothing more he could do.
But she shook her head as she sat beside him on the bench, completely disregarding the masses of snow accumulated there. Her gentle hand cupped his cheek and turned his head so he stared at her distorted image through tear-filled eyes. “I am yourfriend. If you are hurting, so am I.”
“We were reacquainted only recently.”
“And?” She slipped her hand into his and squeezed. “Our friendship has not broken its stride. I’m here if you want to talk about whatever is ailing you. Or if you prefer not to talk…” A smile lifted on her lips, sad and heartbroken as if reflecting his sorrow. “I am told I give rather marvelous hugs.”
He swallowed, trying to rein back his emotions but failing. “Vivi… In another life…”
He couldn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t know how. Because he longed for more than just friendship. But life was cruel. And he had no right to ask for anything more when he knew he didn’t have enough time to speak vows at an altar.
Who reached for whom first? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was they came together for a tight embrace. She held him as his shoulders shook silently, as tears cascaded down his face, as his heart broke for the life he would never have.
In another life, they could have been happy. But he didn’t have another life. He only had this one.
When his hysterics died down, he didn’t want to release her, not even at the expense that someone might peek out a window and find them in the garden together. But it was more likelythe storm would obscure them anyway, providing at least a little privacy from prying eyes.
“Will you get locked in your room again tonight?” she asked as she stroked his hair, likely wet now from all the snow.
Of course, he didn’t want to answer the question, especially when she was correct. She seemed to take his silence as an affirmation.
“Well, then. You can expect me to visit each day that this storm lasts, and we’ll read and play games and pass the time with happy thoughts.”
“Clara and other servants come up during the day.”
“Then I will not be challenged by coming up during the night.”
“Well… I don't know about…that.” His words slowly trailed off as she turned her head and kissed his cheek. The place where her lips touched his skin warmed him from the inside out until, rather than a chill in his bones, his blood flushed with heat. He didn’t often receive any form of physical affection, and he didn’t realize he was touch-starved until now.
More than anything, he wanted to turn his head, to capture her lips with his. But he held himself back. It wasn’t fair. To either of them. For him to mislead her into thinking they could be anything more than what they were.
“I don’t want you climbing the wall,” he rasped, finally finding his words.
“I won’t climb it unless the storm abates. But I will visit every night.”
