Page 49 of A Kiss of Embers
It brought some measure of satisfaction to lie to the man’s face.
But…he also told a few truths. Because he cared about the people of Attleglade. And if they were to get attacked again by the Ember Fae, he wanted them to have a fighting chance.
“I’m so confused,” he whispered to himself from where he sat in a chair at Ashryn’s bedside, gazing outside the window into the village below.
“Me too,” Ashryn croaked beside him.
“Ash!” he gasped as he stood and hovered over her, trying to find something that might be wrong with her. A bandage still wrapped around her torso. Her mouth no longer foamed with poison. Her eyes gazed back at him with semi-lucidity. “How long have you been awake?”
“A while now.” She winced as she shifted positions, though she continued to lie down. “I’ve been watching you frown and sigh and scrunch your eyebrows together like the way you do when you’re frustrated. And…” She shrugged and winced again. “Didn’t want Cranky Cricket to know I was awake yet. I heard him downstairs. I thought we should get our stories straight first before he questions me next.”
After helping her drink cool water from a wooden cup, he set it aside and returned to his chair, going over the story he’d told Cranky Cricket nearly word for word. Ashryn stared at him with a calculated look, but she didn’t cast any accusation in his direction, not even when he knew she knew he was leaving out quite a bit of the story.
“Soo…” she started slowly, still watching him carefully. “How much is true? How much is fabricated?”
He ran another hand over his face, the short bristles of his facial hair scratchy against his palm. He hadn’t shaved in, well, nine days. And he’d hardly slept much in that time, either. “A bit of both.”
The emotional energy to continue didn’t present itself as he returned his stare to the window, his elbows resting on his knees.
“I have not seen you smile once since we returned.”
A long exhale left his mouth as he gazed somberly at the leaves transitioning from green to yellow and red outside. “Get some rest, Ash.”
“You truly care for her. Don’t you?”
Another long pause passed as he fought off his emotions and the memory of Seraphina’s sweet, hot lips on his, the silk of her hair beneath his fingers, the beautiful, melodic laughter that filled his heart with joy. “It doesn’t matter.”
The words cut another hole in his heart. He had never fallen in love with someone before, but he’d never imagined how much it would hurt to lose them.
“I’m all right,” Ashryn insisted, though the corners of her mouth winced slightly as she gestured to herself. She blinked sluggishly. “Perhaps you should speak with Sera—”
“Don’t say her name.” He couldn’t bear for the sound of her name to carve another hole inside his heart. “She’s gone. I don’t want to see her again.” Unshed tears burned his eyes. “She got what she wanted.” She got Pri back, and although he hoped more than anything that the young girl would pull through her injury, Seraphina had still fought for what she wanted. And it wasn’t him.
“Bastien—”
“Don’t. Just…don’t.”
She lifted a trembling hand and placed it over his heart. The touch broke him. The unshed tears trailed down his cheeks. “You love her.”
“It doesn’t matter. You are my only friend, Ash. You come first. She is my enemy.”
Ashryn winced again and closed her eyes, her fingers hovering over her belly where she’d been stabbed. “I made a mistake. I threatened Pri with a dagger even after I promised her I wouldn’t. I was just so…angry. The sight of the queen boiled my blood. She had every right to attack me.”
He ran a hand over his face. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“I injured Pri. I was going to kill Seraphina. You stopped me. She stabbed me. There is nothing more to say other than I’m sorry, Bas. I…didn’t know how you felt about her.”
“How could you have?” He swiped the back of his hand across his face.
The somber look in her eyes almost caused him to glance away, but then she spoke again. “She didn’t mean to hurt me. I saw the regret in her eyes.”
“I.” His hands cupped her face. “Don’t.” His gaze burned into hers. “Care.” And then he hung his head, dropped his hands, and pressed his palms into his eyes.
She lightly touched him on the arm. “I’ve been through worse. Believe me.”
“I know.” He squeezed her feverish hand but didn’t look her way again.
Several long minutes of silence passed. Comfortable silence. Each trapped in their own minds as they tried to come to terms with what had happened. Bastien was simply glad Ashryn was overcoming the effects of the emberweed poison. He’d known other Forest Fae who had died from getting stabbed by a poison-tipped knife or impaled with a deadly dart.
