Page 16 of The Eternal Mirror
I decide on a version of the truth. “She was stabbed. She lost a lot of blood. I don't think she was entirely with it when we found her, but she didn't seem to be suffering—apart from guilt.”
“God,” he says. “I hate this. I hate it all.”
I stay quiet for a while, letting him come to terms with it. Finally, he raises his head. “It's a mistake letting people get close,” he says.
And I can't help thinking that maybe he's including me and even Josh.
“It's a mistake,” he repeats. “They use you, or someone else uses your love against you. It makes you weak.”
I want to argue, but I can’t, because I've been thinking the same thing. Look at the reason I'm here—because I love Zayne and Josh. But would I have it any other way? I don't think so. Then I consider all the potential pain, because I have to admit, in my short life, love has brought me far more grief than joy.
But I don't want to go down that path. Instead, I say, “I love you.”
He looks at me, and I see a faint flicker of humor in his eyes. “Yeah. Look at the mess you’re in because of that.” He seems togive himself a shake. “Whatever. It's done. She's gone. And we've got to figure out how to get that little guy out of here.” He waves a hand to where Josh is still sleeping. He’s twitching and he lets out a short whimper. No smiling in his sleep for poor Josh. I dread to think what he’s dreaming about.
Then Zayne looks back at me. “Just how fucked are we? Can you get us out of here?”
“I think I will be able to, soon. I'm just a little depleted at the moment. I had to use a lot of magic when we—”
I break off because I realize I haven't had a chance to tell him what went down in Hell. I haven't told him that I finally managed to meet my father. Or that I killed him. Or... There is so much I haven’t told him.
Maybe now's not the time. But I can see the sadness behind his eyes, and it might stop him from dwelling on Winter and the shit things love makes you do.
“You were saying? When we...what?” he asks. Then he frowns. “You were gone. You and the asshole. No one knew where. Where were you, Amber?”
“We went to Hell,” I say.
He stares at me for a moment, eyes narrowing. “Let me get this straight. You went to Hell, and you couldn't even be bothered to fucking say goodbye?”
“You would have wanted to come,” I say, “and I couldn't let that happen. It was too dangerous.”
“Oh yeah? Well, that really worked out well. Because it was so safe where you left us.”
“You’re alive, aren’t you?” I snap.
“Just, and for how long?”
Good point. I sigh. “I'm sorry. But I felt I had to do it. I was going to go alone, but...”
“But you took the asshole.”
“I couldn't really leave him behind. You might have noticed he's not good at following orders.” Neither is Zayne, but he wasn’t shadowing my every move, so it was easy to avoid him.
“No,” he sighs. “And neither am I. You're right—I would have wanted to go. And that would have left Josh alone. So what happened? Obviously, you're still alive, so it couldn’t have been too bad. Aw, I bet you got to meet your dad. You always wanted that.”
“Maybe, before I knew who he was.” I close my eyes for a moment, and a shudder runs through me. “It was a close thing.” I exhale. I don't really want to think about how close it was. I’d gotten to the point where I'd accepted my death. It’s strange, such a weird sensation, and something I don't think you ever come back from. But maybe...we'll talk about that another time.
“Come on, Amber. Spit it out. What happened?”
I decide to get it all—or the highlights at least—out fast. “I went to Hell. I met my mother. She died. And I killed my father.” There. All nice and succinct.
He's staring at me. “You're kidding me?”
“Nope,” I say. “He's dead. He's gone. Hell is no more. It's over. I fulfilled my fucking destiny.”
He looks at me in wonder. “Wow. Was it horrible?”
I let out a laugh at that. Horrible doesn't even begin to describe it. I watched my mother die in front of me—the mother I’d thought was dead 5,000 years ago. Instead, she'd been stuck in some stinking dungeon, being tortured by my father all that time. I watched as my father's malevolent witch tried to tear Khaos’s wolf from his body. He fought so hard that Fury died—and that nearly broke my heart. Fury, his beast, loved me long before Khaos did. And I'll always mourn him. But all I say is... “Yeah, it was pretty horrible.”
