Page 40 of The Eternal Mirror
An image of Khaosti flickers behind my eyes. And suddenly I can’t breathe.
Guilt rises first. Sharp and sour.
I left him.
Not because I didn’t love him. Because I do. And that made it worse.
I told myself it was to protect him. That if I’d let him come with me, he’d be killed. That I was saving him by walking away.
But that’s not the whole truth.
I left because if I lost him...really lost him...I wouldn’t survive.
I’ve lost too many already. Khendril. Hecate. It seems like every time I let someone in, I lose them.
But Khaos?
He’s not just part of me. Heisme. And if he dies—if I have to watch that—I’ll break.Not a little. Not in a “cry it out and move on” way. In a final, unrecoverable way.
So yeah, I left.
Because loving someone like that feels like giving the universe a loaded weapon and daring it to shoot.
If it wasn’t for love, I’d be on a beach in Hawaii. Or Tahiti. With a cocktail in hand. Sun on my face, and Khaos lounging beside me. All long, lean muscle and...
What’s the point in thinking about it?
Maybe one day, the world will feel safe enough for me to love him without bracing for the end. But I’m not holding my breath.
My feet slow. I turn toward the wall and bang my forehead against the smooth marble.
I hate freaking marble.
One of the palace guards appears around the corner and stops when he sees me. I consider vanishing, but that’s the coward’s way out. So, I smile and rub my forehead. It hurts. The man doesn’t move, and I look into his face and sigh. I’ve seen that expression before: wonder.
It’s likely my little conversation with Warden Corvus Vahl this morning has started to spread. He gives a little bow. “My lady.”
“Amber,” I say. “My name is Amber.” I nod and walk past. I can feel his eyes on me as I disappear around the corner.
And back to my predicament. I’ve always been nosy, and I want to know what’s going on. How does Khronus plan to elevate himself to the position oftrue god? Where are the witches? I’m guessing dead, but who knows? Not me, but I suspect that the answers are here somewhere—maybe locked in Khronus’s head. I’d love to pry them out with a crowbar. If I leave now, I’ll likely lose the chance to find out. I suppose I could get Zayne and Josh to safety and then come back. That is if I can get them out of the palace, and if there is any safety for them anywhere while Khronus is alive.
I don’t know.
I do know that Zayne wants to be away from herereallybadly—because he’s told me so. He’s not used to feeling vulnerable, and Khronus makes him feel that in spades. If he knew there was a good chance I could get us out of here, then he would have no doubts about the course of action. I can hear him now—are you fucking crazy? Of course we should get out of here.
My head is going to explode. I don’t want to have to make important decisions. It’s not fair. Hecate would laugh at me for that comment. But thinking of Hecate fills me with pain.
My feet stop moving, and I realize I’m back at our rooms. I’ll sleep on it. Maybe everything will be clear in the morning.
Or not.
I push open the door, and I know immediately that we have a visitor. I can sense magic in the air. A witch. And one I recognize.
I’ve seen remarkably few women here. Khronus has a few tame witches working for him, but otherwise, he seems to surround himself with men—maybe women make him feel uncomfortable. Sheela is seated at the table opposite Zayne; Josh is on the bed curled on his side but awake and watching.
Both Zayne and Sheela stand as I enter.
I cross the room, wrap my arms around her, and give her a big hug. I’m not normally a hugger, but Sheela saved Zayne’s life and helped me rescue Khaos from the dungeons. She deserves a hug.
