Page 153 of The Eternal Mirror
I grin. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m honored, but I’d make a totally crap queen. What about you?” I ask Zayne. “What do you and Josh want to do?” I’m guessing they must have talked about it.
He hesitates. “He’s not going back to Lissa and Pete’s, that’s for sure. Otherwise, I suppose it depends on you.”
“But we really want to go to Valandria,” Josh says. “With Thanouq. Help him rebuild.”
I nod. “That makes sense.”
And it does. It really does.
But...
The ache in my chest doesn’t ease. I saved the world. But it doesn’t feel like mine. It never really did.
This world burned me. Broke me. Gave me power and pain in equal measure. It also gave me love. But it took a lot more, so I feel like there are pieces of me missing, and that I’ll never be whole here.
I close my eyes and breathe.
I want to be happy for them. I am. But I feel so...hollow. Khaos, sensing my mood, moves closer and wraps an arm around me. He hugs me tight, and I lay my head on his shoulder.
Then the Mirror begins to stir.
A soft glow. A ripple across its surface. The spiral rings start to turn again—slowly, like waking from sleep.
Selene opens her eyes and looks straight at me.
“Your heart and mind are filled with sadness,” she says quietly.
I don’t try to deny it. “Yeah.”
“You saved this world,” she says.
I nod. “But maybe not for me.”
A long silence stretches between us. Then she says, “You don’t have to stay.”
I glance at her. Is she thinking I should kill myself after all?
“The Eternal Mirror is whole again,” she says. “It is grateful and has offered you a gift.”
“What sort of gift?” I’m a little wary of gifts from the Mirror.
“You can pass through. Become as true gods, begin something new. A world of your own making.”
My breath catches.
Start over.
From scratch.
Not escape. Just...a different kind of beginning.
A feeling of rightness wraps around me, soft and strange. Like something sliding into place after a lifetime of being slightly out of step.
Because the truth is—I’ve never fit here.Not in Earth’s grey reality. Not in Astrali’s glittering palaces. Not even in this fight I threw myself into with bloodied fists and borrowed fire. I was always half-in, half-out. Alwaysbecomingand neverbeing.
And I’m so tired of pretending that’s enough.
Some of the weight lifts from my mind.
