Page 103 of The Eternal Mirror
I can’t face them. Not when I’m unraveling. Not when every time I close my eyes, I see another dead witch and feel that powerless burn under my skin. I’m not strong enough to comfort anyone—not even the people I love.Especiallythe people I love.
If I sit with Josh, I’ll cry. If I talk to Zayne, I’ll scream. I don’t want to break in front of them. So I avoid them, hoping they’ll think I’m busy or tired. Not broken.
Khaosti...stays near. But not too close.
He knows. He sees it. The way I’m pulling inward, like a black hole, like something collapsing in on itself.
He doesn’t try to stop me.
I think he understands.
At night, I fall asleep calling to Selene. I need to talk to her. I need to find out if there’s anything I can do to help the witches. If she’s found a way to break the bond between me and Khaosti. Because I can’t go on like this. If he dies, it will rip me apart. And everyone fucking dies.
But Selene remains elusive.
The only person I talk to is Hella. We sit under the trees sometimes, in my clearing. She asks questions. I give her half-truths. She makes dumb jokes, and Ilaugh like I mean it.
She's the last one left now, and I see the inevitability of her death reflected in her eyes.
I keep telling myself I have time.
Just a little more time. I’ll find a spell that works. Selene will contact me. Something will happen to break this cycle of death. It has to. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Chapter 37
Khaos
The sun rises red.
Not blood-red. Not war-red. Just...soft. Muted. Probably it’s full of smoke from all the dead witches we’re burning.
The camp is already stirring when I step onto the ridge. Voices drift up through the trees. Hammers on wood, swords on whetstones, feet in dirt. Order in the chaos. Routine.
They look to me now.
I didn’t ask for this. But I agreed to do it. And truth—I’m good at it. The best. I always was. From the first moment I joined the army when I was a broken boy of twelve, I felt like I belonged. But then, I had spent the previous six months in my father’s dungeons, kept in my beast form until I was nearly insane. So I guess anything was an improvement.
Plus it keeps me busy. Stops me spending all my time dwelling on the absolutely atrocious state of my love life.
We should have stayed in fucking Hawaii.
I glance up as the basilisk circles over my head before coming in to land. Then Zayne is back. He’s probably the biggest asset in the camp and has been doing regular searches of the area at dawn and again at dusk. I think he likes being in his beast form—not so much thinking. I was told he’s sharing a tent with the girl, Laura.
He sees me and heads over. Strangely, since I took over as commander, we’ve been getting along better. I still hear the occasional mutteredasshole, but he does what he’s told, and he does it well. “Have you seen Amber?” he asks.
I shake my head. “She’s still in with Hella.”
“Shit.” He scrubs a hand through his hair. “Hella’s going to die. And Amber’s going to—”
“Amber will be fine. She’s strong.”
“Not this time. She’s different. It’s like she’s giving up. She won’t talk to me. Or even Josh. It’s like she’s shutting us out. Can’t you do something?”
“She’s shutting me out as well.”
His jaw tightens and a tic jumps in his cheek. “Just make her listen.”
I’ve thought about it, but I think if I push her, she’ll cut me out completely. At least at the moment, she doesn’t physically bar me from her presence. She just refuses to acknowledge me in any way. I can let her know that she’s not alone, that I’ll do anything forher. I won’t risk losing that. “We’re talking about Amber. No one, including me, can make her do anything.”
