Page 69 of Bargain with the Bachelor
“We’re going to have a hard time hiding where we’ve been tonight, reeking like fish,” I quipped, trying to break the new, uncomfortable silence. “Might as well just go ahead and confess to the guys when we get back, although I assume Reid already knows what’s going on with us.”
Hunter stiffened beside me. “Listen… about that. I’ve thought about it, and maybe it’s not the best idea to talk to them just yet.”
“You mean you want to keep us a secret?”
I didn’t like the idea of hiding our relationship from our housemates. It felt too much like lying. “Why? Are you ashamed of me?”
“Of course not.” He sounded fierce. “I could never be ashamed ofyou. It’s just not a good time to rock the boat. We’ve got to finish up the show. Work on Chipp is crazy busy.”
A cold sensation washed through me and remained even after we’d gotten into Hunter’s pre-heated car where I turned his words over in my head.
“Are you saying you don’t think we should date?”
From his answering expression I realized that was exactly what he’d been getting at.
Wow. One minute he was full-speed ahead, and now he was slamming on the brakes.
“What happened Hunter? What changed between last night, when you told me you wanted me, that you always had, and right now?” I paused, blushing. “I mean other than you giving me the best orgasm of my life.Talkto me. Where did you go during the night? What did you do?”
He shook his head, wearing a frown. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter. It’s just… I don’t think we should say anything to the guys. They’re not just my friends. They’re my co-workers. They’re my housemates. We all have to work together every day. Live together. And this company we’ve built… it means everything to me. I can’t let a rift with them slow it down. I’ve clawed and scraped and sacrificed to get where I am—I can’t go back.”
His voice increased in intensity as he white-knuckled the steering wheel. “I can’t risk losing it all when I’ve finally made it. Can you understand that?”
I nodded, feeling numb. “Yes,” I whispered, but it was a lie.
Ididn’tunderstand. Not the part about why he’d pursued me so avidly if he was worried having a relationship with me would destroy his friendships and his company. Ididunderstand the part about his company meaning everything to him. About putting work first.
It sounded just like my father.
Suddenly I was ten years old and hearing my dad’s voice as he explained why he couldn’t make it to my soccer game… my spelling bee… my school arts night.
“I wish I could be there, sweetheart,” he’d said. “But this case is very important. My clients are counting on me. I can’t let them down. There will be other events.”
There had been, and he’d made it to precious few of them.
Harry had been on the same track, one paved with good intentions and excuses and ending in lonely nights for me and a pervasive feeling that I was an afterthought—or a bother—for having any needs that went beyond what money could buy.
He’d made work his priority, which left me begging for scraps of his time. It was one reason I’d been slow to pick up on the clues he was seeing another woman.
I wasusedto him not being around.
What was wrong with me? Why did I keep falling for unavailable, career-obsessed workaholic men?
I’d thought Hunter was different. He’d claimed to have always wanted me, to have been pining for me since high school.
Yet now that we had a chance to finally be together, he refused to open up to me and reallybethere.
Even Larson Overstreet, the only other man I’d gone out with since Harry, had a demanding career and said his work hours were ridiculous.
Apparently, I had a type. And it was time to break the pattern.
“I understand,” I said as Hunter made the short drive from the marina to Oceanview Avenue.
“Your company is your priority, and that’s fine. You need to keep your focus on it. You also made a promise to your friends and partners, and you should keep it. I’m moving out soon anyway, possibly out of state, so it doesn’t make sense to start anything. Chalk it up to bad timing.”
“Wait, Kristal…” he protested weakly.
“No, let me finish. It’s fine, Hunter. We’ve been friends for a long time—let’s just keep it that way. We’re better as friends.”
