Page 53 of See You Next Winter
“Honestly, I haven’t made plans. A couple of days to catch up with you guys and my parents before I fly out to see Kayla.”
“How’s she doing?” he asks.
“She’s good,” I say, avoiding his gaze. In theory, it’s true, she’s absolutely fine, but I know now, while we’re apart, we’ll never be fine. There’ll always be something missing. At least that’s how it is for me.
Now I’m here in London, it feels insane to be so much closer, and still so far apart. She’s not expecting me until Saturday,but that’s two whole days without my girl, in a year where we’ve already spent most of it apart.
When Hannah gets home from work an hour later, her arms are full of bags of takeout from a nearby Thai restaurant they love. Cam and I set everything out on the table while she changes out of her work clothes into something more casual.
It’s still weird as fuck to see my sister and my best friend living together, doing all this cute shit like serving up food, and kissing in the kitchen. He tells her he loves her, and she says it right back. There’s no hiding, no shame, not an ounce of uncertainty when they look at each other. That’s what I want with Kayla. What I’ve always wanted.
The food smells delicious, but every mouthful is an effort to swallow. I don’t know whether it’s jetlag, or witnessing their domestic bliss, or the anticipation, but I can’t relax. The longer it goes on, the more I feel like I can’t breathe.
“Are you OK?” Hannah asks, nudging me with her foot. “Why aren’t you yapping?”
I can’t do this. Can’t sit here and make small talk and act like everything is fine when I could be in the mountains.
“I need to go.”
“Where?”
“Airport,” I mumble, pulling up my Uber app to book a car.
“You’re not serious? You just got here.”
“I can’t fucking think straight, I need to see her tonight.” I stand, then feel light-headed and sit again. Am I really doing this? “Fuck, I don’t know which airport has the next flight to Geneva.”
“City has a flight in ninety minutes,” Cameron chimes in, and when we both whip our heads to look at him, he laughs and shrugs. “What? I knew the second he arrived, he wouldn’t make it through the night.”
I cup his face and smack a kiss on his cheek. “You’re the second best person in the world, you know that?”
“I’d better be first,” Hannah huffs.
“Kayla is first,” Cameron and I both answer at the same time.
“Fine,” she sighs, reaching for the food on my plate. “I’m not one to stand in the way of love, especially if it means more prawn toast for me. You book the flight, I’ll book the Uber.”
Chapter 41
Ryan
Booking spontaneous flights fromLos Angeles to Geneva last Christmas felt pretty outrageous, but this feels even crazier. My knee has barely stopped jiggling the entire flight, all my nervous anticipation desperately seeking a way out. I don’t think I’ll feel settled until I’m back in her arms.
My luggage is first off the plane, the security gods look fondly on me, and soon I’m in a hire car and on the road. I could have waited for a shuttle bus, but those take forever on the winding roads and I need to see her now.
As luck would have it, Kayla is staying at her parents’ house while they have some maintenance work done before the high season, and I plan to take full advantage of having the place to ourselves every night. She’s not expecting me for another two days, so I have to hope she’s home and I don’t have to chase her all over the mountain.
When I turn onto the road up to our houses, I spot her, those unmistakable blonde braids, walking up from town with some fucking guy by her side. When they pass underneath a streetlamp, I see she’s in a summer dress, the skirt swishing around her bare legs, and I nearly lose my mind at the thought of running my hands up underneath them and finding her wet and aching for me.
Overtaking them, I pull over and park across the street from my place. It’s far enough up the hill she won’t notice me, close enough I can still watch her like some fucking creep.
They stroll up the hill and pause outside the front steps to her chalet. In my rearview mirror, I watch him put his hand on her shoulder, and I don’t fucking like it.
Despite my best efforts, she’s made it clear we’re not in a relationship. Whatever she does with her time around our visits is up to her, but if she sends me away, I don’t know if I'll get over it.
She’s right there, close enough to reach out and grab, and my head is so twisted up over her I can’t think straight. I need her touch to ground me.
If she invites him inside, the surprise will be ruined, but I came all this way for her, formygirl, and I’m not about to let some other guy take her home.
