Page 33 of See You Next Winter
“You went to California, not to war,” I laugh, sniffing it again. “It smells like you.”
“Sprayed it with my cologne before I posted it.”
The way my heart flutters and my toes wiggle is almost embarrassing. It’s as if I’m stuck in my teenage crush on him. He’s never done cute shit like this before, and neither has anyone else. It’s so sweet I could puke and still be happy about it.
We sit like that for a while, two idiots who can’t stop smiling, until his eyes flick down to his watch and he breaks the spell.
“I’m sorry we keep missing each other, but I need to head to work.”
“That’s OK. I need to shower anyway. I’m heading out for dinner with a few instructors tonight.”
“Have a great time, you deserve it.”
I pin his postcard to my wall with all my most treasured photos. Another postcard arrives the following week. And the week after that. Then another. And another.
Chapter 26
Kayla
Ten Winters Ago / Age Eighteen
In the far cornerof the pizzeria terrace, Ryan and I sit tucked away from the crowds, eating lunch in the shade of towering pines. Underneath the table, his hand is pressed between my knees and I wish he’d shift it higher.
“Are you a virgin?” I ask him before quickly biting off a huge mouthful of four cheese pizza. Apparently, now is the moment for my brain to blurt out the question I’ve been dying to ask.
“Uh, yeah. Are you?”
Relief floods through me, and I nod. He doesn’t talk about other girls, but he’s cute as hell and sweeter than most of the guys back home. Any girl would be lucky to date him, and if he went to my university, I’d definitely ask him out.
We’ve gotten more handsy this year, but never had enough time alone together to take things further. The end of December means me we only have a few days left here, and now I feel that pressure more than ever.
He tugs on the end of one of my braids. “Why do you ask?”
A blush creeps into my cheeks. I started this conversation, there’s no turning back now. “I’ve been thinking if we still haven't had sex by next year, then we should make a pact to do it together.”
It feels safer to make a long-term suggestion rather than ask for what I really want, which is to lose my virginity, like, yesterday. I was surehe’d have lost his already, and he almost certainly won’t wait another year.
“Why not this year?” he whispers, his hand finally slipping up the inside of my thigh. “We’re old enough.”
“You want to? With me?”
“I kind of always thought it would be you,” he says, leaning in to kiss me. “Also, I packed condoms.”
My lips press together at the thought of him naked and hard. At the thought of me being naked with, not just any boy, but one I already feel comfortable with.
“Did you?” I whisper against his open mouth. “So you've thought about this?”
He smiles, a little puff of air warming my bottom lip. “Little bit. What do you think? Want to be my first?”
“Yes, but…”
He pulls back and his eyes dart between mine. “There’s abut?”
If this is how intense it feels just talking about it, I can’t even imagine looking at him while he’s on top of me.
“Promise this won’t change things between us.”
“I promise.” He says it too fast, like he hasn’t really thought about what he’s asking of me.
