Page 24 of Can I Tell You Something?
An hour, two beers, and five rounds later, Cameron almost beats me but I play an ace at the last second and win.
“No. That was brutal! I was so close, I was sure I had it that time.”
I hold my hands to the sky. “That’s L’Escalier. Close isn’t always close enough.” Beneath the table, Cameron’s knee nudges against mine.
“I need to pee,” Ryan says, hopping down from his stool. “The next win is mine.”
Cameron gathers our cards and shuffles, his long fingers making swift work of the deck. I watch them as he deals three new piles, thumb sliding card after card from the top. It’s impossible not to imagine him touching me that way, a firm but smooth, repetitive motion building me up until I see stars. Imagine that thumb on my lip, or pressing into the flesh of my thigh.
It’s uncontrollable, this urge to fantasise about him. I mean, I was already doing that before I even flew out here, now that he’s around all the time it’s impossible to stop. I keep my mouth shut, in case the beer loosens my lips a little too much and I say something I can’t take back. He finishes dealing, sits back and sips his beer, but when our eyes lock I get the feeling he’s holding back from saying something too.
Ryan appears at the side of the table with his arm around the shoulders of a familiar petite brunette. “Change of plans.”
“Hi, Kayla,” I smile and wave from my seat in the corner.
“Hey, Hannah,” she replies, a knowing smile. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too. You here for the holidays?”
“I live here full time now, actually. Started my touring business. Snow in the winter, bikes in the summer.”
“That’s fantastic news. Congratulations.” I mean it. It’s wonderful to see her follow her dreams. She’s always fit right in here, and as kids she was always heartbroken to go home to the UK and back to school.
“Kayla, this is my buddy Cameron,” Ryan says. Cameron twists to offer his hand and Kayla reaches out to shake it, leaving her other wrapped around my brother’s waist. “We flew out together, and he’s staying for Christmas and New Year with us. Cameron, this is Kayla.”
“Good to meet you. You joining us for a game?”
She tilts her head to look at Ryan, eyes sparkling. “Er…”
“We’re gonna head off actually,” he smiles down at her. “I’ll see you losers in the morning.”
And then they’re gone, leaving the two of us alone. Part of me is grateful I don’t have to watch what I say in front of my brother anymore. The other part is terrified that without his buffer, I might start saying things I regret and never stop talking.
“You know her?” Cameron asks.
“Her family owns a few properties, so she’s here most winters. She teaches snowboarding.”
“And she and your brother are…?”
“Getting reacquainted, apparently.” I smile and raise my glass to my lip. “They do this a lot. She was pretty gutted he didn’t make it out last winter.”
Ryan’s made no secret of his feelings for Kayla, and the same goes for her. When they reunite on the mountain, it’s like watching a fireworks display. Explosive, magnificent, and then over with only a trail of smoke left behind. He once told me they check in during the off-season, but I have to wonder what’s going to happen the year he turns up and finds her committed to someone else.
Cameron nudges my knee again. “So it looks like it’s just you and me, kid.”
“Don’t call me kid,” I scowl.
“What would you prefer I call you?” He leans in closer, the bass of the music, the chatter of the crowd all blending into one as he whispers inches from my face. “Baby? Darling? Good girl? Greedy little slut?”
It could be my shaky gasp that gives it away, or my teeth sinking into my lip, or the way my eyes roll back. Probably all three.
“The last one,” he nods to himself, leaning back on his barstool, eyes locked on mine as he drains his glass. “Noted. You want another?”
I still have half a beer left. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
“Another drink, or staying out with me?”
“Maybe both,” I laugh nervously. “I’m not a big drinker.”
