Page 18 of Can I Tell You Something?
By the time we’re done, the effects of a day’s skiing are taking hold. With weary limbs and eyes that can’t quite stay open, I say goodnight and take myself off to bed.
Underneath the covers, I fight a yawn as I instinctively pull up Cameron’s website, knowing full well there won’t be anything new.
Except there it is, right there in my hand.
New post from Mac’n’Please.
Chapter 13
Hannah
Idoublecheckmydoor is closed and bluetooth connected, lie back, and press play.
Can I tell you something?
His whispers make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, goosebumps breaking out everywhere, knowing he’s about to let me into a secret. Sure, me and every other listener, but right now I’m deluded enough to believe these words are just for me.
I am coming to you today from the cutest, cosiest little cabin in the French Alps. No seriously, I am. I wish I could show you, but that’s kind of outside the realm of possibility in the audio world. You’ll just have to take my word for it.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. He recorded here. In this house. While I was out. What if I’d have come back early? What if any of us came back early?
What happened is, I have this good buddy I met in film school. He’s British, and it turns out his family owns a cabin - sorry, chalet - in a little ski resort high up in the mountains. Apparently, it used to belong to his grandmother, but every year they come out here for the holidays.
Now he and I were planning on kicking back over winter break, maybe hit the beach, surf, take a couple of road trips. I was gonna record a ton of these audios for you because you know when I’m bored, and I’m chilling, it just feels so natural to touch myself and pass the time that way.
I’m not embarrassed about it either. It’s only natural, it’s not hurting anyone. It’s simply a fun activity I like to enjoy in the privacy of my own home, which I then record and put on the internet for thousands of people to hear. See? Totally normal.
He laughs then breathes deeply, exhales slowly.
But I haven’t come in ages. Had a busy week at work, then travelling, and now I’m here and I’m… I’m really fucking pent up. I need to get off.
He swallows hard, and I know what’s coming next.
I’m stroking it right now. Can you tell? I think you can tell. I think you can tell by the way my voice changes. You always know when I’m getting a little distracted, when I can’t finish my sentences. Let me add a little more lube, and then I’ll tell you how I got here.
Ohhh fuck, that feels good. That’s maybe a little too much, or maybe there’s no such thing when it comes to lube. I’m glad I remembered to pack some. You know I love it when it gets nice and slippery.
My brain is about to short circuit.
Where was I? Oh yeah, so my buddy was feeling kinda sad about missing his family Christmas. Obviously, Christmas in California is a completely different experience from these snowy mountains. And he’s telling me about all these amazing traditions his family has, things they look forward to for months. The way he told it, it sounded like something from a Hallmark movie, you know?
Anyway, we’d had a couple of drinks after work, a good little buzz going, and I was hamming it up saying ‘you should go man, be with your family’, kinda jokingly pushing him out the door. But then I started looking up flights for him. And you know what we were shocked to discover? It wasn’t a crazy amount to fly back. The next thing I knew, I mean… you know how this ends, right? I was hitting confirm on two business class tickets from LAX to Geneva that were leaving in three hours.
I know, I know. It was frivolous as fuck, but I’m not too proud to say I did pretty well from this website this year. From these audios that you love listening to so much. I think it’s the first time in my life I could afford to do something like this without worrying about my next paycheck, so thank you, my darling, for making my little artist dreams come true.
But it was kind of funny because we were in such a rush to pack that when we rocked up to the airport in jeans and hoodies, I felt for sure we were going to get kicked off the flight. Except, it turns out most people in business were in jeans and hoodies. I guess they were all tech bros or something.
OK, hold on, I don’t want to jack it to the thought of tech bros. Let me get back on track with what I really wanted to talk about.
It’s kind of cute hearing about his travels from his point of view, but it’s not what I want to hear about either.
Where was I? Oh, fuck, that feels good. OK, so I guess the thing I want to talk about today is the idea of Forbidden Fruit.
Long story short, me and my buddy, we arrive and hop in a transfer bus. I’ve never been to Europe before and I’m feeling like a motherfucking king, you know? And the drive is gorgeous, all these winding roads and snowy mountains in the distance. It took a couple of hours, but before long we’re pulling up to their cabin. Sorry, chalet, fuck, I keep calling it a cabin by mistake.
I meet his mom, I meet his dad, they’re super nice, salt of the earth people. I immediately feel welcome. But then…
He gasps, and I can tell from those breathy moans he’s getting close.
