Page 67 of The Worst Guy Ever
Me:I fucked up
Kara:what’s wrong?
Kara:where are you? I’m about to leave yours, shall I come and get you?
Me:no need, I’m safe
Kara:what’s happened?
Me:Rob happened
Kara:OH. MY. GOD.
Megan:OHMYGOD
Me:my words exactly
Megan:So that’s where you were all night!
Me:I am ruined
Me:RUINED
Me:He’ll drive me home. The bastard.
I freshen up, throw on the fluffy hotel robe I wore last night, and tie the belt tight, covering as much of myself as possible. I don’t know what to do. If I shower, he’ll join me. If I get back in that bed, he’ll have me naked again before I can blink. The thought keeps me frozen. I can’t stand the idea, and I’ve also never wanted anything so much in my life. I need to get out of here, fast.
In the lounge I attempt to get my things together, but I don’t make it far before he’s standing in front of me, that wall of fucking manliness.
“So, darling wife,” he says, turning the mug he’s holding so the handle faces towards me. “Did I live up to your expectations?”
“Get over yourself Rob. It was a one night stand, I’m not here to stroke your ego.”
“I’ve got something you could stroke instead,” he laughs, and because I am my own worst enemy I palm his half-hard cock and step closer. It swells beneath my fingertips and I run them up and down, my eyes on his as I lift my cup, take that perfect first sip and let out an obnoxious moan.
“I’ve ordered breakfast in bed for us both. I bet…” he trails off, loosening the belt of my robe and dropping to his knees. “I bet I can make you come before it arrives.”
I close my eyes, take another sip, and let him win.
“You’re welcome,” Rob says on the drive home.
“For?”
“The orgasms.”
“Whatever. Like I said, I faked it.” I gaze out of the window and hide my smile in my palm.
“Oh honey, no.” He reaches across the centre console and slides his hand between my thighs, gripping firmly. “You see, I’ve got a superdick with magical powers and it could feel it. Every flutter, every pull, every tight clench as you came around me. You might want to lie, but me and my dick know the truth.”Fuuuuuck.I won’t even make it home at this rate.
“Superdick, eh?” I yank his hand out, throw it back into his lap like hot garbage and angle my body away from his. “Maybe I’ll chop it off and send it to a museum of curiosities.”
I wonder what will happen to us now. Will things be awkward at Friday Night Dinners, or will we exchange knowing glances in the company of others? Will he still text me? I don’t know why I even care, I’ve never had a problem with hooking up and drawing a line under it before.
“Hey, we’re still friends, right?” Rob says, clearly plagued with similar thoughts.
“If we must,” I sigh. “I don’t normally see guys I fuck again. So keep it to yourself.”
I neglect to mention I’ve told Kara and Megan. They’d better swear to keep it a secret, I don’t need Luke finding out about this and judging me.
