Page 107 of The Worst Guy Ever
I was wondering how long this would take to come up. Even hearing the word,‘relationship’, makes me feel terrified, but now there’s a spark of curiosity too. There’s only one person who’s ever made me consider the possibility of a relationship, a partnership, and his thumb is circling the inside of my wrist, willing me to give him a chance. I’ve missed out on a lot in my life because I closed the door too fast, and it hurts to think I nearly missed out on him.
“I would consider that to be a work in progress, but I’m not as opposed to the idea as I used to be.”
His relief is palpable. “I’m serious, Hattie. If you want to give it a go, see what this could be, then I’m all in. I don’t want to spend another day without you. I’ve been miserable.”
“Aren’t you scared?” I ask.
“Of what?”
“Of getting hurt. Of hurting each other?”
“No, sweetheart.” He shakes his head and scoots in closer, pressing kisses to my forehead. “I’m not scared. Maybe we won’t get things right while we figure out how to be together. Maybe you’ll hurt me or I’ll hurt you, but I promise I’ll always communicate with you, and I’ll always do my best to make things better again. Not being with you would hurt much, much more. I’m not your dad, baby. I could never walk out on something this good.”
“What about the kids thing?” These are the important, essential, life-changing things people in relationships need to discuss. If we want different things, we don’t stand a chance.
“What about it?”
“You want them. ‘A whole bunch’, you said.”
“Yes, maybe, I don’t know. It’s not a deal breaker. What about you?”
“I don’t think so. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s that I’ve got that wild godmother energy. I don’t think it’s good for kids to be around me too much. What if you change your mind?”
“Then we have another conversation. We’ll always keep talking. We don’t have to decide everything right now and follow one path. I could live a thousand different lives with you and be happy in every one.”
Jesus, how does he come up with this stuff?He’s so romantic it makes me squirm and bite back a smile. I can already picture Megan and Kara swooning when I tell them about this.
“What if I never believe you’ll stay?” If my biggest fear is him leaving, my second biggest is that I’ll drive a wedge between us by worrying all the time. He rolls onto his back, taking me with him, adjusting our bodies until my head rests against his heart. His hand weaves into my hair, keeping me close. His other hand finds mine and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
“I’ll prove it to you. For as long as it takes,” he says.
And I believe him.
Epilogue
Two months later
Rob
If it’s possible, Moonshine is even busier than it was on Halloween, packed with a crowd who’ve braved the cold December night to celebrate and see in the new year in style.
The space looks incredible, as always. Kara has such a knack for transforming it to suit the occasion. From the ceiling, hundreds of disco balls in various sizes hang at different heights, and the entire room shimmers underneath them.
Hattie booked some achingly cool DJ I’ve never heard of, but when she launched tickets for tonight on Moonshine’s social media, they sold out in two days. Now they’re all here, and everyone is living their best lives.
Everyone except me. I’m bored and antsy. I don’t want to be here in a sweaty club. If I’d had my way, I’d have whisked Hattie away somewhere, but she refused to let her team down and request a night off on one of the busiest nights of the year. She’s always looking out for everyone else, but I’m happy to be the one who gets to look out for her.
Luke and Kara are somewhere in the throng of party-goers after spending Christmas in Scotland. They seem to be constantly off on mini-breaks, but I can’t say I blame them. They’re both making up for a lot of time life took away from them.
I don’t know if Hattie knows, but Luke told me they’ve planned to spend their first year of marriage taking as many trips as possible before trying for a baby. Hopefully everything will work out in their favour and I’ll get to be Fun Uncle Rob sooner rather than later.
There’s no sign of Megan tonight. She told Hattie she’s staying in to journal and set intentions or something. Apparently this is going to be the best year of her life, and I hope so. She’s such a good friend to all of us, and she deserves nothing less than best.
So it’s just me, lurking at the end of the bar, keeping an eye on my girl. We’ve spent most of the Christmas break in bed. You’d think I’d have had enough of her, but now even a few feet is too much distance between us. I need her closer, need my hands on her.
“Can you sneak away?” I lean over to ask when she finishes with a customer and comes back to my end of the bar. “I don’t want to end the year or start the new one without you.”
She looks around at the rest of her team. There are plenty of them and it’s fairly quiet now. With only five minutes to midnight, most people have gotten a fresh drink and found their friends, ready to ring in the new year together.
