Page 98 of The Worst Guy Ever
He has a seat up front with Luke and is nodding along as others share their views. I wasn’t convinced he’s read the book, but I’ll give credit where it’s due, the man has a lot to say aboutWildfire. It’s the first in theButtercup Ranchseries, about a woman struggling to keep control of her family cattle ranch, and the billionaire who wants to buy the land.
It was predictable as hell, and I could tell from five pages in that Winona would win Caleb over the minute she got him on the back of a horse. Throw in a rodeo and a game of pool in a rundown bar and the man was swapping his brogues for Blundstones before you could say‘Giddy up!’Still, I enjoyed it, as did tonight’s group.
“My main question is, when can we have a group trip to cowboy country?” Megan laughs. “I’m desperate to go to a rodeo and see what all the fuss is about.”
Maybe that’s what I need to do with this unexpected sabbatical, travel a little, see some of the world. I’m certain I’d enjoy hooking up with a Southern man with a belt buckle the size of my face. As usual, I speak before I can shove the words back down.
“I just want someone to put their hat on my head and their dick in my mouth. Honestly, is it so much to ask?”
“Hattie!” Kara scolds me from across the room, but these are my people, and they cannot hide their laughter. Not even the members of Sunshine Book Club, who are in their sixties and seventies.
“I wish I had your energy, Hattie,” Janice laughs.
“I wish you had her energy too,” her husband, Gerald, teases. I shrug it off, but keep my mouth shut for the rest of the night.
As book club draws to a close I wave everyone off, tell Megan I’ll see her at home, and try to ignore Rob who is clearly hanging back for me. There’s only so long I can hide in the store cupboard, but when I come out he’s still there, waiting by the door.
“Can I drive you home?” he asks, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” It’s a terrible idea. Just looking at him, all big and solid, yet soft and cosy in a charcoal sweatshirt, makes me want to tear my clothes off right here.
“Just to talk.”
“What is there to talk about?” We’ve never been good at talking, and it would be so easy to convince me to take things further.
“I don’t want to argue. I just want to hear how you’re doing.”
“You can head off, Hattie,” Luke calls over from where he’s putting the furniture back in order. “I’ll finish up here and close.”
“You traitor,” I scowl, wondering if this is something they’d discussed. He mouths a‘sorry’in my direction.
“What are you going to do now?” Rob asks once I’ve filled him in on the aftermath of me drunkenly setting off a grenade and ruining my career. Thankfully, he doesn’t say‘I told you so’, though I’m sure he must be thinking it.
“I have no clue, but I’m OK. I feel weirdly free. Luke’s going to give me some more shifts at Sunshine to keep me busy, and I’m getting a ridiculous amount of money to not be at DFR, so I have some time to figure things out. I might ask Kara for advice about setting up my own.”
“That sounds smart. You’d be great at being your own boss.”
I haven’t been paying attention to the road as we drive, and it’s only when we’re pulling into the petrol station I realise we’re nowhere near my house. He drives past the fuel pumps and round the back to where the car-wash is.
“Unbuckle your seatbelt,” he says, as we roll into position through the first set of sprayers.
“I’m not fucking you, Rob. I told you we have to stop doing that.”
“We’re not here for that. Get in the back. Like you did with your dad.” A gasp slips out of me. I can’t believe he remembered. “Quick, before you miss it.”
I do as I’m told, scrambling between the seats. When I did this with Dad, I was small enough to climb up onto the parcel shelf and lay out flat on my back. The spray would rain down, thunderous on the window just inches from my body, and though I always jumped when it first started, it soon made me feel so calm.
There’s no way I can fit up there now, but I give it my best shot, kneeling on the middle seat and angling my head just right. Even though I know it’s coming, I still jump and let out a little squeal, but then I watch the colours blend into one, the foam whipping up until I’m in my little cocoon where the world can’t get to me.
Those six minutes are some of the best of my life. I cry my stupid little heart out and let the thunder of the water drown it all out. When I make my way back to the front seat, Rob passes me a tissue then holds my hand the entire way home.
“Are you OK? Do you want me to come up?” he asks outside my building. I really do want that. I’d love nothing more than to crawl into bed with him and be held until morning, but I can’t do that. I can’t use a man as a sticking plaster over all of the gaping wounds I need to fix myself. Especially not a good man like him.
“I’m really trying to sort my life out, you know? I just need some space.”
Chapter 41
Rob
