Page 78 of The Worst Guy Ever
“OK, so Friday and Saturday?”
“Two nights in a row seems a bit much. Look, once a week is fine. Let’s just say Friday or Saturday, depending on other plans we have. Deal?”I’ll take everything you’ll give me.
“Deal. Wanna shake on it? With my penis?” I fill my hands with her backside. She’s leaving, I can feel her withdrawing, and I need to touch as much of her as possible while I can.
“No. I need to go home and shower your stink off me before I come to my senses and change my mind.” She ducks under my arm, and then she’s out of reach and heading for the bedroom door.
“I’ll see you next Friday, fuck buddy,” I call after her.
“Piss off, Knob.”
“Oh, and Hattie,” I leaning over the bannister as she skips down the stairs. She turns back, looking up at me. “One more rule. No falling...”
“Don’t say it!” She holds her hands up in front of her, palms facing out, eyes squeezed shut.
“What?” I laugh.
“I’ve read enough romance books to know that saying‘no falling in love’is as bad as saying Bloody Mary in the mirror three times.”
“That’s not a real thing.”
“Don’t care. Don’t even risk it. Just shut your idiot mouth.” She pulls on her shoes and I take a seat halfway up the stairs.
“We need to work on your pillow talk.”
“New rule. No talking full stop. Just make me come, and then go away. That’s the deal.”
“We’re inmyhouse.”
She swings the door open and doesn’t look back. “And now you get to watch me leave.”
Chapter 32
Rob
Itgoesonlikethis for weeks. She arrives late and we go straight at it until she leaves in the middle of the night, or she appears after work and we fuck, eat, then fuck again.
I don’t know why I didn’t get a fuck buddy ages ago. Though deep down, I know it would never have been like this with anyone else. I’ve met my match with Hattie. Obviously I love the sex stuff but I love talking to her too, and even if we spend most of our time arguing, it makes me feel something I’ve never felt before. It makes me feel alive.
We broke the once a week rule within days, and over time, she stays longer. On warm nights like this one, she lights the firepit in the garden while I make dinner. Yeah, I bought one. Luke and Kara’s cosy garden snuggles made me want a bit of that for myself. When I finish plating up risotto, I find her curled up in the garden chair, staring at the flaming end of a stick.
“Didn’t have you pegged as a firestarter.” She flicks an ember in my direction and pokes her tongue out. “Careful, I don’t want tonight to end with a call to the fire brigade. You and I have already wasted both police and A&E time with our fighting, a third emergency service would be mortifying.”
“I don’t know, if Rennie fromJust a Little Crushturned up I wouldn’t complain,” she laughs.
“Who’s that?”
“Super hot firefighter book boyfriend with a fit body and dirty mouth.”What the fuck? I’ve got a fit body and a dirty mouth.We’re not talking about him anymore.
“You haven’t mentioned work for a while.”
“Not much to report,” she shrugs.
“That guy still giving you hassle?”
“Lawrence? Nope. He took my job and I’m seconded to something else for a few months. Apparently there’s a promotion opportunity coming up, and they wanted me to‘expand my portfolio’or some bullshit like that.”
“That’s good news, right?” She doesn’t sound happy.
