Page 102 of The Worst Guy Ever
Life is so precious, and there’s not a person on earth who can predict how things will go for any of us. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, their world can change in an instant, but that doesn’t have to be the end of the story.
Sometimes there is good news, and I wish I could share this one with Hattie.
Chapter 44
Hattie
Consideringweusuallyreadlight-heated smut at Sunshine Book Club, our October book has been extremely heavy.Happy Ever Sometimesis about a woman who was abducted as a teenager, and kept captive in an abandoned building for years. Dwayne is a urban explorer who travels around the country visiting abandoned places, disused warehouses, empty asylums, that sort of thing. You can imagine how horrified he is to find Grace, and how quickly he rescues her from her prison.
Forever bonded by her horrific ordeal, Grace and Dwayne keep in touch over the next few years while she processes the aftermath and tries to live a normal life.
It was fucking dark, which matches my recent low mood, but also somehow the most incredible love story I think I’ve ever read. I’m not feeling especially sociable, but I’m keen to see what others think of it, and I’d hate to disappoint Kara.
“Who wants to kick us off then?” she asks from her favourite spot at the front.
“I will,” says Katy, who I’ve gotten to know pretty well since I started picking up morning shifts here. We’ve had to force ourselves not to discuss the book too much as we read it, but we both gave each other a huge, much-needed hug the day we finished it. “So firstly, I was not expecting to enjoy this book as much as I did, but I’ve read nothing like it, and it’s safe to say it will stick with me for a very long time.”
There are lots of murmurs of agreement from around the room.
“I loved the structure, the pacing, the characters,” Katy continues. “I just wanted to hug them both so much.”
“I really loved that it wasn’t just a case of Dwayne rescuing Grace and then they fell in love,” Megan says, keeping the conversation flowing. “She had to put herself back together, so she was strong on her own.”
There is a lot of conversation about Grace, and how she changes from the captive victim to the woman she is by the end of the novel. She has so many battles to overcome, both physically and mentally.
“I thought it was a really beautiful reminder that even when people have been through unimaginable trauma, we’re still worthy of love,” Kara says, looking straight at me. My head is throbbing. I struggle to follow the rest of the conversation, and from my spot behind the counter, I try not to cry.
Trauma.It’s a word that’s been coming up again and again in my sessions with Brenda. I think I love her, even though she spends fifty minutes twice a week turning me into a blubbering wreck, pushing me to understand myself more deeply.
I’ve spent my whole life trying to prove I’m not a victim, I’m not weak, and I’m not worthless just because my dickhead dad couldn’t be bothered to stick around. Working hard to prove myself, pushing my body to its limit, using sex as a coping mechanism, and attempting to control the uncontrollable.
And, of course, pushing people away before they can get close. I always joked about it as if it was some sort of cliché. Unfortunately, I’m now learning that’s a response to childhood abandonment happening at a critical age of my brain development. It’s validating, but I’m still figuring out what to do with that knowledge.
Although my situation is nothing like Grace’s, this shitty thing that I had no control over, has determined how I’ve lived my entire life. I’ve been acting all high and mighty, when in reality I’ve been carrying around a broken spirit in a strong body all these years. And slowly, I’m piecing myself back together too.
Chapter 45
Rob
Thelightsarelow,the music is loud, and Moonshine is packed out for their first Halloween night. I don’t think I knew we even had this many people in town, but with a few live bands followed by a DJ set, I can see why they’ve drawn a crowd.
Luke told me it was all Hattie’s doing. Making coffee all day wasn’t keeping her busy enough, so she suggested a move to Moonshine, where she’s been spending her time managing their events calendar and social media. She was never any good at resting, but from what Luke tells me, this suits her.
I wasn’t even sure I should come tonight, but I wanted to support her. Kara and Luke too. Fancy dress isn’t normally my scene, but looking out at a sea of costumes, I’m glad I made the effort. I’ll probably just stay for one or two, then head home.
There’s a big queue at the bar, but I clock Hattie taking orders and decide I don’t mind waiting if it means she’ll be the one to serve me. The closer I get, the better I can see her outfit. Dressed in a skimpy white dress, her hair is curled into tight ringlets topped with a tinsel-covered halo. With her full lips painted a glossy red, she looks anything but angelic. My dick throbs at the sight of her, and it’s not just because she looks gorgeous. It’s because she looks happy.
She smiles at customers, nodding at their orders, her body in flow as she spins her way around behind the bar, fetching their drinks.
When she clocks me, I expect that smile to slide right off her face, just like always, but instead, it pulls wider. Her eyes sparkle and for a moment, the room falls silent and still. Her tongue darts out, wetting her lower lip before she bites down on it. Her eyes drop from my face to my chest and beyond, and when they widen, I know it was a good idea to go shirtless under this waistcoat.
I’ve sent Hattie the occasional text over the past couple of months, but she never replies, and now that I’m standing here in front of her, she looks guilty as hell. The sad truth is, I was right. We can’t be friends after all the shit we went through, and as much as it hurts to admit, we were never truly friends in the first place.
I’ve stopped going to her gym, I don’t drive past her house, and she avoids Friday nights at Luke and Kara’s. I never ask, but our friends are sweet enough to give me subtle updates that reassure me that Hattie is doing OK. Luke raves about the latest events she’s planned, and Kara tells me she’s starting her own marketing consultancy focusing on small, local businesses. Megan says Hattie misses me, and sends her love, but I have a hard time believing those words actually came out of her mouth.
“What can I get you?” she asks in the same tone as all of her other customers. I drove here, so all I want is a non-alcoholic beer, but then she’ll have served me in thirty seconds and that won’t be nearly enough time in her presence.
“Whatever takes you the longest to make,” I wink, and she rolls her eyes but gets to work filling a cocktail shaker with ice, various clear fluids and something bright red.
