Page 82 of The Best Book Boyfriend
As a kid I remember digging into the wet sand with my big toe, scooping up great clumps, admiring the stones and shells and tiny treasures I unearthed. I love the way the beach returns you to your childhood. I can’t help but feel small and playful here. In time, Luke appears at my side. “Want to walk?”
We head north along the water’s edge and I keep looking backwards to watch my footprints get gobbled up by the water as it pulls back out to sea. The evidence of me there one second, gone the next. It’s humbling. I count three ships far out to sea, with no idea where they came from or where they’re going.
“Do you like the sea?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“Sure.”
“The sea makes me quiet and pensive. When I’m near it, I can’t think of much else.”
“Seems like a good day to not think.”
“Mmm,” I agree. “This was a perfect suggestion for our adventure day. Thank you.” I link my arm through his without thinking, but he doesn’t reject it. Instead, he pulls his elbow in closer and me along with it.
“Did Adam make you laugh?” His question comes from nowhere. I’m sure he must have, but pressed to answer I can’t recall a time.
“No.” I shake my head and press my mouth into a tight smile. “Not for a long time.”
“You know,” he pauses with a heavy a sigh, “when Heather died, she made me promise her three things, and one of them was that I would laugh every day. I think it’s one of those things that’s easy to overlook in life.”
“That’s very sweet. Do you keep your promise?”
“Most days. Not in a belly laugh way, but I try to pay attention so I notice more things that give me a little smile.”
“Like what?”
“Just little things. A kid pulling faces in the cafe, stupid adverts that make no sense, or that thing where you almost bump into someone in the street and you both move the same way to avoid each other. That makes me laugh. I suppose some things that people would get annoyed about, I try to see the funny side.”
“That’s a good way to be. What else did you promise?”
“Oh, um, well, the big one was that she wanted me to follow my dreams, and I’d always talked about how nice it would be to open a cafe. So that one is ticked off, at least.”
“What about number three?”
“I promised her I’d fall in love again.”
“Oh. Right.” We both look at the sand ahead of us and I give his arm a gentle squeeze. “I feel like that’s a much bigger challenge than Sunshine, you know.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he whispers, and we’re quiet again.
Towards the end of the sandy beach, we make our way up to the rocks. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” he shrugs.
“Did you used to wear a wedding ring?”
“I did.”
“When did you take it off?”
“It’s kind of a funny story. It’s somewhere under the floorboards in the cafe. I took it off to wash paint off my hands and it rolled off the counter and dropped in between a gap. I was about to rip the place apart, but I decided it felt fitting in a way.”
“How so?”
“Um.” He pauses, lets go of my arm and turns to stare out at the sea, the pale shoreline turning a deep grey where the sand drops away. “I lied to you about something, back when we first met.”
I take a step back and hold my breath.
“You asked me if there was a story behind the name for the cafe and I said no, but that’s not true.”
