Page 76 of The Best Book Boyfriend
“They’re all in the fridge for you. I didn’t know what you might need, or want, and I realised I don’t know anyone I could ask, so I got a bunch of different things. There’s some fresh fruit, nice bread and butter, chicken noodle soup. Poptarts which, I don’t know about you, but I always love to eat when I’m sick and I actually think they taste best straight from the packet and not toasted even though Hattie says that’s a crime against food and toasters. I also brought you a room diffuser with eucalyptus oil in case you needed a fresh air hit without actually heading outside. I didn’t know if you have a cold or not. Sorry, I’m rambling.”
The sound of Kara’s rambling is all the medicine I need right now.
“Do you need anything else before I go?”
“Not sick,” I croak out from underneath the covers.
“What’s that?”
I clear my throat when I realise it’s the first time I’ve spoken in a few days. “I said I’m not sick.”
“Oh. OK. Katy said you had a bug or something.”
“I lied.”
“Can I come over there?” She takes my shrug as a yes and makes her way around to my side of the bed. A small side table separates my bed from a beat up old wingback chair where I often sit and read. “Can I sit here?”
I don’t answer, but she sits anyway. “What’s going on, Luke?”
“I’m not sick. Just sad.”
“Has something happened?” she asks.Something. Nothing. Everything.It’s impossible to explain.
“No. Just a grief thing. I just needed a few days.”
“It’s OK, I understand. Well, I don’t fully understand, obviously, because I’ve not experienced it. But I accept it. Your grief isn’t going anywhere.” Platitudes never help me, but her words are a small comfort and I’m grateful she doesn’t tell me things will get better.
“I’ve been texting and calling. I thought you might have had an accident.”
“I don’t know where my phone is.”
We sit in silence for a while. I couldn’t tell you how long, I’m still hiding under the covers, I don’t want her to see me this way.
“Luke,” she says softly after a while. “Shall I run you a bath?”
“No thanks. I’d rather not be alone.”
“I could sit by the door. Swear I won’t peek while you’re getting in.” I hear the smile in her voice.
“I’m good here.”
“I don’t mean to be rude, but you don’t smell the freshest, Luke. Bath or shower, which will it be?”
“You’re bossy.”
“I know, you know this about me.”
I hear her pad along the landing to the bathroom. She runs the water and after a while she calls through to tell me it’s ready. I drag myself out of bed and walk into the bathroom where the air is nice and hot and I can see she’s made it extra bubbly, probably to spare any awkwardness about being naked around her.
“I’ll wait out here,” she says, stepping out and sitting down with her back against the wall outside the door. I don’t really give a shit if she sees me. I step out of my clothes and into the bath. The water is the perfect temperature, but my body feels like hell and I sit upright, my knees to my chest, and lean my head against the tiles. They’re wet with condensation, and my face is wet with steam and tears.
“Do you have any medication that you take?” Kara asks after a little while from her spot in the hallway. “Are you behind on anything?”
“No, I don’t take anything.”
Another long pause. “How long have you been feeling like this?”
“Few days.”
