Page 61 of The Best Book Boyfriend
Kara:Good thanks. Off to bed. See you at lunch tomorrow x
Off to bed? It’s 10pm.Oh fuck.Does she mean she’s off to bed with him? Her messages always take one of two tones. Direct and polite when she’s busy, playful and charming when she’s got time to chat. We’ve spent a few nights texting into the small hours when we’ve both been home and bored. She must have gone home with him.
Sleep evades me. I’ve got this Sunday lunch with the girls, and if it was anybody else, I’d sack it off and spend the day in bed in my own misery. Jesus, it’s been a long time since I’ve had one of those days. The days of crying and wallowing and pining should be well behind me.
I can’t skip out on lunch. I made a deal with Hattie and Megan, and I’ll never hear the end of it if I back out. If nothing else, I’ll get to see Kara and hopefully have a few minutes to tell her how I’m feeling. I don’t care if it makes me a shitty friend. I can’t keep this stuff to myself much longer. If she wants to date, I want her to know I’m open to it too.
I arrive at The Milling Barn early, hoping she’ll do the same, and I’m shown to our table by the window out in the old orangery. My heart both sinks and soars when I see her walk in. She looks stunning in a long, pale blue flowy skirt paired with a black roll neck jumper. Her eyes catch mine and she blinks away, pulling her neckline higher. She must be hiding the marks I left there last night.
Her hair is smoothed back in a neat ponytail and I want to wrap it around my fist, tug her head to one side, slip a finger into the collar of her top and plant more sucking kisses there. I want to grab her hand, lead her straight out of here and back to mine. Would we even make it or would I be pulling her into my lap before I even started the engine?
Unfortunately for me, Hattie and Megan are on either side of her. I guess an honest conversation can wait. It’s not fair to cram it into a few minutes, anyway. I stand to greet them with a hug each, though Kara avoids it and takes the seat across from me, Hattie by her side and Megan on my right.
“This place is lovely. Thanks so much for taking us all out, Luke.” Megan looks up and around, turning her head to take in the room. It really is stunning. With a high glass ceiling, the room glows with warm sunshine. Huge potted trees brimming with oranges, lemons, and limes separate tables dressed in pristine white linen. Hattie gives me the side-eye while fumbling with her cutlery, tied in a bunch with her napkin and a sprig of fresh rosemary. She pulls it out and huffs deeply, her eyes searching mine for answers.
I didn’t speak to either of them yesterday, so I don’t know if they know how Friday night went down.
Our waitress appears to take our drinks order and Hattie goes straight for a bottle of Merlot and four glasses, but I change it to three and order a pint of fresh orange and lemonade. I’m not hungover, but I do feel sick. Booze is the last thing I need right now. I’m glad of the choice because I think I might pass out when Megan asks, “So Kara, tell us all about your date.”
Chapter 25
Kara
Thisisawful.I’dtold Megan and Hattie about my date with Jonty before I knew anything about the surprise birthday dinner. At this point, I don’t even know which date she’s referring to, and I don’t want to talk about either of them in front of Luke.
My head has been a scrambled mess since I left his house yesterday. When I got home, I took a shower and replayed Luke’s every move, longing to be back with him, kissing me against the wall, biting me, tangling his fingers through my hair when we came together. He found all those pressure points that make me weak and went to town on them.
Afterwards I laid on my bed and sobbed my confused little heart out for a bit, before getting dressed and heading to meet my utterly pointless date. Jonty had arranged with Claude for us to meet at his local village pub and suggested an afternoon pint, followed by a walk. A perfectly acceptable, if average, suggestion. I tried to make an effort, but my head was so full of Luke that Jonty didn’t exactly get the best of me. Not that he was anything to write home about.
“It was good, he was fine,” I lie. It was like a meeting with a colleague.
“Where did you go for dinner?” Hattie asks.
“We didn’t go for dinner, just had a drink in the afternoon.” Luke lets out a long sigh and pinches the top of his nose. He’s barely said a word to me since we got here. I wish I could have a few minutes to chat to him alone. The air feels heavy between us.
It took hours to get to sleep last night. I almost considered taking one of the sleeping tablets my doctor prescribed me after Adam left, but the memory of how groggy they’d made me held me back.
All morning I’ve felt hot, sad frustration waiting to burst out of me and I’m not good at dealing with this much emotion. Usually a quick run clears my head, but I’ve been so busy with work and book club I’ve not been in ages. I cut it short when it was clear it wasn’t making me feel any less stressed.
I can’t stop thinking about Luke’s kiss. Our first kiss. He kissed me like his life depended on it. Like he’d read every page of that story a thousand times and knew exactly what was destined to come next. Now I’m supposed to sit across from him at this lunch and act like nothing happened? My whole body is tingling at the sight of him. I would climb this table and grab him right now if we weren’t in company and in one of the fanciest restaurants around here.
And if he hadn’t let me leave.
“Earth to Kara. Are you even listening to me?”No.Hattie is waving her hand in front of my face and I come back down from my dizzying thoughts. “Is he hot? Who does he look like?”
“He reminded me of a razor clam.”
Megan claps her hand over her face to stop her wine coming out of her nose. “He what?”
“He wore a brown jumper and his head poking out the top reminded me of those razor clams we saw when we went to Whitstable.” I do a silly little impression, my head slowly bobbing up and down. They were weirdly captivating and gross at the same time. I’m trying to be funny and break the tension, but nobody laughs.
“Will you see him again?” Luke asks bluntly, and I narrow my eyes in his direction. I can’t get a read on him. Is he just being friendly? Is he jealous? Angry? I wish the girls weren’t here, so I could tell him I don’t want to date another man for the rest of my life. Why is he asking questions? He probably just wants to be a supportive friend. ‘Have a great time on your date,’ he’d said. Clearly, the events of the previous 48 hours hadn’t meant the same to him as they had to me.
“I doubt it.”
“Oh love, why not?” asks Megan.
“He was fine, but he had that Local Character kind of vibe. Everyone in the pub knew him. He talked about his work too much, and I can’t say I’m interested in dentistry. Then he asked if I needed any fillings and winked. I couldn’t tell if he was flirting or pitching for business.” I bury my head in my hands and groan.
