Page 55 of The Best Book Boyfriend
“We’ll just take the bill, thank you,” I say to the waiter, turning my face towards him but never letting my eyes leave hers.
At the door I help her into her coat and when we step outside, I slip my hand into hers, interlacing our fingers, just like Matthew does with Briony. My place is ten minutes from here, and Kara’s is in the opposite direction, but she doesn’t question it when I lead her towards mine.
We’re quiet as we stroll side by side. There’s no walk home in the story, and I don’t know what to say, terrified that if I ask her,Kara,about her day or anything else, I’ll break this spell we’re both under. This entire evening I’ve been grateful for Matthew’s guidance, but I know our conversation has been real. Kara and Luke lurking just underneath these masks.
I’m nervous as hell, but her thumb sweeps slow circles around the knuckle of mine, which I take as a good sign. It’s been so long since I held hands, it makes me feel... it’s hard to describe, it just makes me feel a lot. I’m glad it’s her. It’s so easy to be quiet, there’s nothing uncomfortable about our silence, I’m not questioning my thoughts. I try not to stare, but whenever I steal a sideways glance, I’m completely smitten with the half smile that isn’t leaving her face. In this moment she looks so happy, so relaxed, and my heart is ready to burst knowing it’s me who’s made her feel that way.
“Are you warm enough?”
“Yes. You?”
“Yep. It’s not much further.” I know she knows, but she must sense my nerves because she gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.
When we get to my door, she hovers behind me while I unlock it before stepping aside to let her in first. She straightens up a little, a tiny shake of her head as she crosses the threshold. Kara sets her bag down on the side table as if she’s done it hundreds of times. We could be coming home from the supermarket, from our fifth anniversary dinner, from a parent teacher conference.
I know I have to stop this, stop imagining a future with someone who doesn’t want one with me, but just for tonight, in this weird alternate reality that we’ve slipped into, I think maybe it will be OK to let ourselves go.
I slip her coat from her shoulders, hang it with mine, and turn to face her. She leans back against the wall and I mirror her body language, just a couple of feet apart in my narrow hallway. She’s so incredibly beautiful standing there before me. I’ve seen it while sitting across from her all night, but on her feet I can finally take her all in. My eyes roam her face, down the slope of her neck, her breasts, her hips, all the way down to the heels that make her legs look even more incredible than usual. Her dress stops mid-thigh, and with a low neckline, it’s not similar to the one Briony wears for her date.
Did Kara think about that when she chose it for tonight? She might not have read it for a while, whereas I’ve been re-reading certain chapters all week in preparation. Her hair is lifted away from her face, tumbling down her back, but there are these little loose strands I’ve wanted to tuck behind her ear all night. I’m grateful that the wall is propping me up, keeping me steady for whatever might come next.
The air is thick between us, and I cough to clear my throat. “Shall I make pancakes now or...?”
“Matthew,” she takes a step forwards and tilts her head up towards mine. “Pancakes are for after.”
Fuck.I want to give her what she wants, want to give her Matthew, and I want to give her me, but something makes me pause. I’m worried this is incredibly selfish, tricking her by pretending to be this fantasy man of hers. She’s giving me these hungry eyes that I’m pretty sure are begging me to keep going, but I need to know she wants this as much as I do.
“After what?” I ask.
She pushes up onto her tiptoes and loops her hands around the back of my neck. I let mine smooth over her hips, the soft material of her dress taunting me with the promise of what lies underneath. I dip my head down to meet hers, our mouths hovering just millimetres apart.
“Briony…”I can’t believe I’m about to do this.“You know if you were my girl, I’d never stand you up.”
Matthew’s words fall naturally from my tongue, there’s no holding back now. Kara has already shown me how well she knows this scene, but she pulls back a little. Her eyes search mine, checking we’re on the same page. When I give her an encouraging nod, she says the words that make my stomach flip.
“Matthew,” her chin tilts, her words a whisper against my mouth, “if you were my guy, I’d make you fuck me until Ican’tstand up.”
Everything happens all at once. My hands reach down to her thighs, lifting her roughly. She wraps her legs around my waist as I spin her to the hallway wall and crash our lips together. There’s no softness, no teasing and easing into it, just hot tongues stroking, greedy for each other.
I can’t believe this is our first kiss. A first kiss can’t be this good. This is the kiss of two people who know each other inside out. If kissing her feels this incredible, everything else is going to blow my mind. My nerves disappear when I suck her lower lip and nip it gently between my teeth. Her tongue searches mine and I forget what day it is, where we are, what my fucking name is when she moans into my mouth.
Bouncing her up a little higher, she tightens her grip around my waist. I’m so turned on by the heat between her legs pressed against my stomach, only the thin fabric of her underwear and my shirt keeping us apart. I keep her there with one hand, and with the other I cradle her face, turning it to one side so I can lick from her jaw to her earlobe in one long, firm sweep. The whimper that escapes her throat is the best sound I’ve ever heard. I want to hear it again, and again, and again.
The first time I read this scene, I was thankful I was at home in bed, my dick hard in my hand, stroking slowly at first, then faster and faster, before timing my release with the characters on the page. All these books she’s had me reading, they’re like instruction manuals for the best sex ever. I get why they’re popular with women, but I can’t believe more men aren’t reading this stuff and learning a thing or two. Now that I’m living out Matthew and Briony’s first night together, it’s even better than I could have imagined.
Just like Matthew, I loosen her grip around my waist and set her back down on the floor. Tugging at the hem of her dress, I lift it over her head in one swift motion. “Fuuuck,” I can’t hold back my real thoughts when I see her standing in front of me in black lace underwear.
“Get on your knees, Matthew,” she says, and I snap out of reality and back into our game. I unbutton my shirt one by one, and lower myself slowly to the floor, never taking my eyes off hers. I can’t get enough of watching the way she shudders and hitches her breath when I hook my fingers into the waistband of her underwear and drag them down her legs, my nails raking against her delicate skin. Her face betrays her need. She knows what’s coming, and her eyes squeeze closed in anticipation.
“Look at me, Briony,” I bark. She blinks open to watch me purse my lips and blow a long, slow stream of cool air against the heat between her thighs. “Look at how good I am for you.”
Her leg lifts over my shoulder and I’m in heaven, teasing my tongue just at the edge of where she wants me to be. She squirms, and I press her to the wall with a splayed hand across her stomach. I’m not letting her get her kicks that easily.
Tormenting her only adds to my lust-fueled desperation. I’ve fantasised about this moment so many times, wondered what she would look like, taste like, feel like. Inevitably, I tell myself off for being such a shitty friend afterwards, but there’s nothing friendly about the way she urges her hips forward. I lose the will to be restrained and I grip her soft, perfect thighs, spreading them further as I bury my face into her. I never want to forget the way she tastes.
I’ve been holding back from touching her for so long. All those times I wanted to hug her, stroke her arm, take her hand in mine. Times I reached out and pulled back, pushed those feelings down. I’ve been starving for her and now I’m unleashed.
I’m not Matthew, I’m not Luke, I’m someone else entirely when I cup my hands under her perfect cheeks and nudge her other leg over my shoulder. I kneel upright, pushing her higher but keeping her pinned to the wall with my mouth.
