Page 26 of The Best Book Boyfriend
“What is this on top?” I ask, unable to finish my first mouthful before speaking.
“Extra virgin olive oil and sea salt.”
“Why is this so good? It doesn’t feel like it should work, but it’s incredible.”
“I don’t know. We served them this way at the pub and I’ve never made them any other way.” The flavour combination is so intense that the next noise that comes out of my mouth is basically pornographic and we’re both doing that looking at each other, smiling, looking away and looking back thing. I am giddy and I don’t think I can entirely blame it on the wine.
The rest of dinner passes with comfortable ease as we talk about work, our friends, our families a little more. I try not to fawn too hard, but he really is so lovely.
“So I’m curious to know…” he takes a sip of wine, turning into the king of dramatic pauses. I tense up, wondering what he’s about to ask. “Have you dated at all since your ex left?”
I guess it was going to come up at some point. And I would like to know where his head is at too. “No. I’m really nervous about it. And besides, I don’t think I want to. I’m basically sworn off men for the foreseeable.”Except you. I think I would un-swear off men for you, Luke.But that’s not me talking. That’s Main Character talk. I don’t have the confidence in myself to say those things out loud.
“I’m nervous too.”
“I think I’mmorenervous. It’s really embarrassing to be my age and admit that I’ve only ever had one relationship. Only ever been with one person. I think I’d be eaten alive on the dating scene. Not in a dark romance way either.”Jesus, maybe I have had too much wine. He must wish he’d never invited me over.
“You’ve not had any rebound flings?” A ridiculous giggle escapes me. The idea is entirely laughable.
“Absolutely not. I’ve not tried to meet anyone, and I’m not a one-night stand kind of girl. The last time I had sex was over a year ago. I’m so worried that if someone tried it on with me, I’d be really rubbish and then they wouldn’t want to see me again.”TMI Kara.
“I’ve only ever been with one person, too. And the last time I had sex was long before she died. Trust me, I feel just as out of practice. I think I’ve accepted the fact that the first time will probably be terrible, and I just have to hope it will improve from there.”
“Do you miss sex?” I ask, a little too bluntly. Luke shifts awkwardly in his chair. “Sorry, that’s probably too personal. Romance books have given me zero filter.”Good save Kara. Blame the books.
“It’s OK,” he says, taking a big gulp. “I guess I do miss it, but I don’t think about it too much. I never wanted to be with anyone except Heather, so when she died, it’s a bit like my sex drive did too.”
I’m relieved to hear it, because I feel a similar way. Reading spicy books turns me on, but the desire to involve anyone else in that process? Adam took it with him when he left.
“I can relate. I had a weird sense of pride that Adam and I were each other’s first and only sexual partner. Well, at least he was mine.” My words fall from my lips and my eyes must glaze over as I pick at the edge of my thumbnail. “I feel like I’ve literally forgotten what to do with a penis.”
Luke almost spits out his drink. “OK. We’re definitely not having sex tonight.”
My face flushes beetroot red.
“That was a joke.” He sits bolt upright, pushing his glasses up onto his head as he covers his face with hands. “I’m so sorry. That was a stupid joke. Can we pretend I didn’t say that? I’m mortified. I didn’t invite you here for sex.”Oh. OK then.
I watch him readjust his glasses, get himself back together. He’s very cute when he’s bashful.
“Although…” he says, tentatively, “I’d have thought you’d know better than most, given how much romance you read.”
“That’s the thing. These books are written by women, for women, so although there is a lot in there that seems really hot, I wouldn’t know the first thing about what men want in bed.”
“I feel the same way. About women.”
I take another drink and hold his gaze as I raise one eyebrow. “No late stage bisexual awakening?”
“Don’t think so. If it’s happening, it hasn’t hit me yet.Roomieswas pretty great though. I don’t think I’d have read a book with two male leads if you hadn’t recommended it.”
“What can I say? Love is love. It doesn’t matter to me who’s doing the loving. In books.”
“In books.” He nods slowly, rubbing the pads of his fingers back and forth along the base of his wine glass.
“So I’ve told you about my Best Book Boyfriends, tell me what you look for in a woman?” I chance it, taking what I hope is a seductive sip of my wine.
“You seem to be under the impression I’ve been looking.” Ah. So Iamentirely deluded. He takes a deep breath. “In all seriousness, Heather and I met as kids. I only had eyes for her, it’s been a bit of an adjustment getting used to being a single man. I can’t imagine myself getting into another relationship.”
“I feel a similar way. I still can’t really wrap my head around the fact that I’m not in a relationship anymore.”
