Page 91 of The Best Book Boyfriend
Kara
“Chooseuncomplicated.”Luke’s words run through my head to the beat of my heart, but I snap out of it when I see Adam’s shoes kicked off and abandoned in the middle of the floor like a fucking teenager. Glancing along the hallway, I can see him through the living room door having a good look around the place. I slam the door behind me, put my own shoes in the shoe rack, grab a hoodie from the end of the bannister and walk through the living room to the kitchen.
Before I even realise what I’m doing, I flick the kettle on to make him a cup of tea. It’s only when I reach for his favourite mug I remember it’s not even there. The arsehole took it with him. Imagine leaving your girlfriend of twelve years and having the forethought to take your mug with you. For such a long time I believed it was a sudden, irrational decision he’d made, and now I’m reminded, as I am now and then, that he planned to leave me for quite some time.
I steel myself, shoulders back, head high, and take his tea through to the coffee table in front of him. The coffee table I’ve put my life back together around every Friday night for the past year.
“Didn’t know you got a new sofa.”No shit, how would you?“I love what you’ve done with the place.” This pisses me off. I don’t want his eyes on my stuff and I especially don’t want him to enjoy what I’ve done for myself. “So who’s the guy?”
“My friend Luke.”
“Boyfriend is he?” A mix of shame and fury sets a fire in my throat and I want to scream‘Yes! Yes, he is my boyfriend!’but he’s not. Not yet.
“What do you want, Adam?”
“Come and have a seat here, babe,” he says, patting the sofa next to him. My stomach churns. How many times have I wanted him to come home to me, to snuggle up on the sofa and go back to normal. Now he’s here and I don’t want him at all. I sit down in the armchair and lean forward, steadying myself with my hands on my knees. I can feel myself wobbling. Post run crash? Adam anxiety?Choose uncomplicated?
“Why are you here?”
He mirrors my body language, leaning forward and rubbing his palms back and forth. “I want to come home.”
“HA!” I clap my hand over my mouth, shocked at how loud that laugh came out of me.
“What’s so funny?”
I stand and start pacing. “Why? Why do you want to come back, Adam?”
“I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have left.”
“Why did you leave?”
There’s a long pause before he deigns to give me anything. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Try Adam. You left me in fucking limbo, not sure where you were, if you were coming back, what’s going to happen with the house.”
“I’m back now, babe, that’s what I’m saying.”
“I’ve spent a year trying to figure out what happened, when your feelings changed, how I could have been such an idiot to not see it was coming. You haven’t once thought of a way to explain yourself?”
He doesn’t speak, he just stares into the middle of the room, a little boy getting told off.
“Where’ve you been?”
“What?”
“You walked out of here,a year ago, and told me you’d met someone else. I haven’t even heard from you since, so where have you been?”
“In a flat in St Albans, I got a job over there.” He’s a moody little shit, begrudging me the answers I deserve so much.
“With who?” He hangs his head. Too bloody right, he should feel ashamed. “With who, Adam?”
“Jen.”
“Ah! So thatisher name.” I’m absolutely fuming now. “It’s a funny thing when your boyfriend oftwelve yearsleaves you for someone else and doesn’t even tell you where he’s gone or who he left you for. I found out her name from your mum, who was so embarrassed she stopped talking to me. She was like a second mum to me, that broke my heart even more. When did it start?”
That’s the thing I’ve been most desperate to know. I burn him with my glare until he answers. “Last April.”
“So…” I quickly do the maths. “Five months before you left? You cheated on me for five months?” My chest feels tight, I can hardly see straight, I have to lean against the doorframe and he has the fucking nerve to just sit there staring at the floor. “It just happened, my arse. It just happened is what you say when a pan of pasta boils over, not when you’ve put your dick in someone for five months, quietly packed all your shit, and then walked out on your girlfriend while she’s serving up your fucking dinner.”
