Page 89 of The Best Book Boyfriend
I want Luke. I want everything about him. That’s what I’ll tell him.
My heart rate is returning to normal as I puff my way back up my road, mentally raiding my wardrobe and planning what I’ll wear to see him. I open my garden gate, and there at the top of the path I see two figures sitting outside my front door. I nearly shit myself when they both stand up and talk over each other.
“Kara—”
“Kara—”
Oh, fucking hell. Kill me now.
Luke is here.
And so is Adam.
I can’t believe it. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since he walked out on me and my heart gallops into my throat at the same time as my stomach drops. I want to cry and scream and throw up all at once. I feel wobbly, hot from my run, but covered in goosebumps as I rapidly cool down.
Adam leans against the door with his arms folded across his chest. I’m smacked with a vision of him at seventeen, gorgeous in his untucked school shirt. Twenty-three, fit and topless painting our bedroom walls. Twenty-five, so handsome at his surprise birthday dinner. And now, he’s not that man at all. It takes me a second to realise I’m not even attracted to him anymore.
I don’t know how long I stand there, but when I look over and see Luke’s face I want to rush to him, to cover him with my body and shield him from Adam. Not because I think Adam will do anything, but because I don’t want his gross negative energy anywhere near the kindest man I’ve ever known.
“Who’s this, Kara?” Adam asks, jabbing his thumb in Luke’s direction while his eyes stay trained on me.
Why do I feel like I’ve done something wrong? This is a place where I’ve survived, no,thrivedon my own without him. This is my house, my life, and it makes me sick to see him standing in front of it. They both start talking at the same time again, but my head is spinning and I can’t hear them, or hear myself think.
“Both of you sit down,” I hiss, worried the neighbours will be dining out on this for weeks if they catch a commotion. They do as they’re told, squashing up against each other on the little bench outside my door. Adam does his best manspreading and Luke scoots up as far as he can.
I turn away from them, lift my head to the sky for a deep breath and it’s only when I turn back that I clock Adam’s old gym bag sitting on the doormat.Oh, christ.
“Luke. Are you OK?”
“Yeah. Um,” he rubs at the back of his neck and gives Adam the side-eye. “I just wanted to talk to you about something.”
Oh God, this is terrible timing but I’m so happy to see him. I just wasn’t expecting to see himyet, I wanted to shower and eat something so I don’t feel nervous and then practice what I want to say a hundred times. I absolutely did not want to confess my feelings for him all sweaty on my doorstep in front of my dickhead ex-boyfriend.
“Adam, why are you here?” I ask, pacing side to side in front of them.
“We need to talk. And my key doesn’t work. Did you change the locks or something?”
“Yes,” I scoff. “You moved out a year ago. Did you think you were just going to let yourself in?”
“It’s still my house.”Fuck.I knew in my gut this would happen sometime. By all accounts, it is still his house. Yes, I’ve changed the locks, but I was never exactly sure of the legalities, and the last thing I want is to cause a row out here in the garden. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Luke ball his fists.
He’s back. The absolute bastard for making me deal with him right now. I kick Adam’s bag to one side and fish my key out of the tiny awkward pocket in my running leggings. I blink a thousand times to stop the tears from coming. When I unlock the door, they both stand.
“Right, Adam, go inside. I’ll be in in a minute.” I’m absolutely mortified when he throws a smug grin Luke’s way. God knows what went down before I arrived. How long were they both waiting here for me?
Luke looks crestfallen, and his face makes me hurt in my chest. “I see. OK.” He sighs, puts his hands in his pockets and makes off down the path.
“Luke, wait,” I call, and chase after him, glancing back at Adam, who’s already off somewhere inside the house. “Why are you here? Was there something you wanted?”
I watch his face contort before me, his lips opening and closing while he stares at the ground. I dip my head a little, trying to make him look at me. “Just say it.”
No words come, and I feel a lump growing in my throat so I stand up tall, pulling my shoulders back and look up at the sky. I’m so sick of crying in front of him. He wouldn’t normally just pop round and see me unannounced, there must have been a reason he is here.
“Say what you’re thinking right now, Luke.” He pulls me into a hug, and my arms instinctively wrap around him, too. It’s a warm, tight, loving hug that I never want to end, but too soon he pulls away, his fingertips circling my wrists as he sets my arms back down by my sides.
“You think he still has your heart,” he whispers. “But he doesn’t.”
I take a step back, folding my arms across my chest and holding my breath for whatever comes next.
