Page 59 of The Best Book Boyfriend
“Presumptuous,” I tease, and he breaks into one of those big, beautiful smiles I adore so much. “Hey Luke?”
“Yeah?”
“Would it be OK if I sleep in your bed? With you.” It’s a big ask. Despite everything that’s happened between us, I know sharing a bed with someone for the first time after losing Heather must be a big step for Luke. A big step for me, too. I’m used to sleeping alone now, but I don’t want to be alone tonight. He turns away to load dishes, so I can’t make out his expression and I’m terrified I’ve upset him.
“Like Matthew and Briony?” he asks.
Well, no, like us.“Sure,” I say anyway, just relieved it’s not a no.
In his bathroom, I wash my face in the sink, rake my hands through my hair and give my teeth a quick scrub with toothpaste on the end of my finger. I’m so nervous to come out that hiding in Luke’s bathrooms is at risk of becoming A Thing That I Do. When I finally walk into his room he’s sitting up in bed wearing an old band t-shirt and he lifts the covers for me so I can slide in next to him.
I roll to my side, facing away from him, and wonder how on earth I’ll ever actually sleep this close to him. Luke reaches across me to turn out the bedside light, then curls himself around me, one arm folded up under his pillow and the other draped over my hip. This is how they sleep in the book, but here in real life, I’m longing for him to kiss my shoulder, stroke my stomach, pull me into his groin, and do everything we’ve done all over again. Yep, I definitely can’t sleep when I’m this horny.
Luke’s arm is loose, cautious, and I get the feeling he’s obliging me. This kind, generous man who wouldn’t know how to say no to me. I don’t know what this is, I don’t know how to feel. I told him I wanted a date with Matthew Braverman and he did this for me, because he knew I was dreading my birthday. Did I push him into this?
When I glance down at where he holds me, I see his tree tattoo and tears prick my eyes. I place my hand over it, overcome with a need to express to him, and to Heather, that I’m sorry for what I’ve done.
“Goodnight, Briony,” he whispers from behind me.
“Goodnight, Matthew.”
I close my eyes, listen to the sound of his gentle breathing. Exhaustion grips me, and as I drift off, I’m sure I hear him say, “Goodnight, Kara.”
I wake up curled into Luke’s side. He’s sitting upright reading on his phone, his right leg hooked over both of mine, his skin radiating warmth across mine. His hand is playing with my hair absentmindedly and he’s so absorbed in his book that he doesn’t notice I’m awake. The scent of his sheets, of him, is intoxicating.
“Hi,” I whisper, not wanting to scare him. “Did I keep you awake with my snoring?”
“No,” he laughs, glancing down to meet my gaze. He has no business looking this hot first thing in the morning. “Not with your snoring.”
“Oh no, was I drooling.” I wipe my mouth but thankfully find it dry.
“No, stop this, you’re overthinking it. You sleep beautifully.”
My heart swells, but it’s too much. It doesn’t feel real to be here in his bed like this. I press my eyes closed, rest my forehead against his hip, aching to stay in this languid haze a little longer. Then I remember it’s not real, it’s all pretend. It’s not Luke, it’s Matthew, it’s a game, and I’m a silly little fool thinking that this is something that it’s not. A panicky feeling builds in my chest. I untangle myself from his limbs and back up so I can get out of his bed. Feeling exposed, I pull his t-shirt down, remembering my clothes are downstairs.
“I’m going to head off.”
“Oh, OK.” He bookmarks his page and places it on his bedside table. “You don’t want to stay for some breakfast?”
“I really should get home.” He pulls back the covers to get up out of bed, and I’m a complete pervert because I can’t look anywhere but at his toned thighs and I clench at the memory of straddling him last night, leaning back, gripping them with my fingertips. “Thank you so much for my date with Matthew. That certainly was a unique birthday present.”
“Oh shit, I didn’t even say happy birthday!” he says, smacking his hand against his forehead. “I was a little caught up in our alternate reality there.”
“It’s OK. Happy birthday to me,” I sing-song awkwardly.
“What are you doing for the rest of the day?”
Oh shit.Jonty. With all of this happening, I completely forgot about Claude setting me up with her dentist mate. “Um, I have a date.”
Luke gulps like he’s swallowing a mouthful of sand. “A date? Wow, OK.” He folds his arms across his chest and stares at the floor.
“Yeah, it’s a, er, friend of Claude’s. She was pretty insistent that we meet. I think she considers herself some sort of incredible matchmaker.” I attempt to keep my voice light, but my sense of humour doesn’t land. This is awful. I can’t look at his face, so I leave his room and take the stairs two at a time.
He follows me but hangs back, sitting halfway down the stairs while I get my shit together. I’ve only got my heels from dinner last night, but I’m relieved that my coat is long and will at least hide the fact that I’m only wearing his t-shirt, my crumpled clothes shoved into my bag, and still no fucking knickers. I look at the floor, but I’m struck by the memory of what we did in that very spot last night, so I look at the ceiling instead.
“I don’t know if you know, but I’m taking you, Hattie, and Megan to Sunday lunch at The Milling Barn tomorrow. To make it up to them for stealing you away on your birthday.”
“Oh wow, no, OK.”Sentences Kara, use sentences.“I did not know that.”
