Page 20 of The Best Book Boyfriend
“No. Stop it. I will not ask him out.” They both do the exact same groan out loud and flop backwards onto the sofa. I swear if you only knew these two by the noises they make, you’d think they were the same person.
I let them languish a moment before covering my ears and dropping my truth bomb as fast as I can. “But I am seeing him again next week.”
As expected, they jump up and down like they’ve won the lottery and I feel guilty for talking about Luke this way. I’m having those funny little flutters in my tummy that I have every time he texts me, but there’s also been a heavy feeling since he told me about his wife.
“I have to tell you something, though.”
“You kissed him?” they both squeal.
“No. Please calm down. This is a serious thing. Two things actually.”
“OK sorry, best behaviour,” Hattie throws me her butter-wouldn’t-melt face.
“One, he’s asked me to run a book club at the coffee shop.”
“Oooh,” they say in unison, and I’m reminded of those little green aliens in Toy Story.
“I love that for you,” Megan claps her hands together. “We’ll come!”
“Great, good to know, still working out the details. The second thing...” I feel bad even talking about it. It’s not my story to tell, but it feels pretty important to mention. “He also told me he was married, and that his wife died a couple of years ago, of cancer.”
“Shit,”Hattie says.
“Oh no, how awful.” Hands on her heart, Megan looks genuinely upset. “That poor man.”
“Yeah, I mean, really awful. I didn’t know what to say.” We are all quiet for a moment. “So, while I have been enjoying talking to him, and I have arranged to meet up with him next week, can we please put an end to all this shagging chat because one, he’s grieving, and two, if I’m going to run a book club at his place I’m going to need to keep it friendly and professional. OK?”
“OK,” says Hattie, “Boring, but OK.”
“Please, Hattie, please don’t harass me about dating. I don’t want to do it, and if I do, I’ll do it in my own time. I promise you’ll both be the first to know.”
We settle into the sofa and hit play onIt’s Complicated, but we’ve all had a busy week and the girls drift off before the end of the movie. I take myself off to my own bed feeling restless. I try reading but I can’t seem to concentrate, so I grab my notebook and start writing out book club ideas.
I know Luke probably wasn’t flirting today, but I do hope we can be friends. The sad truth is, beyond Megan and Hattie, I don’t have that many close people in my life. Adam was well and truly my other half and, even though I’ve always found that expression weird, it definitely applied to us. We were together every single day for over a decade. I can count on one hand the number of nights we spent apart. I used to say that with pride, but now I think maybe it wasn’t such a good thing that my whole life was wrapped up with his.
Our friends were all mutual ones from our school days, but over time, lots of them moved away, and we never went out and met anyone new. After he left, some of those people got in touch, but not many. I came to realise they were more ‘say hello in the street’ people than ‘we’ll help you pick up the pieces of your smashed and ruined life’ people.
I thank my lucky stars that Hattie and Megan both ended up living back here after they finished uni, or I’d have nobody. Megan teaches English at a local school, and Hattie works for a marketing agency. She used to commute into London but now she works half the week from home, which is great for me because it means I’ve got a lunch buddy on days when I’m not run off my feet. They share a flat on the other side of town close to Megan’s work, but they feel like my housemates too with the amount of time they spend here.
It would be nice to have a new friend. Someone else to hang out with and chat to about stuff that isn’t just me whinging on about my broken heart. Luke seems like he could use a friend too, I think.
At some point, I fall asleep with my phone in my hand. I don’t realise it at the time, but it’s the first night in months I go to sleep without looking at photos of Adam.
Chapter 10
Luke
WhenIgothomelast night I had my call with Granny Annie, then went straight to bed so I could be fresh for Saturday, always our busiest day in the coffee shop. I don’t plan to work every weekend, but while we’re still getting up and running, I want to be around and on top of things. Right now I’m there most days, but it’s good to keep busy. I don’t have much else to do, except read Kara’s book recommendations, which this week have been exactly the escape from reality she promised they’d be.
The cafe was so much busier than I expected today with customers sitting in, and queuing out the door for takeaway. I heard a few people mention they’d seen Sunshine Coffee on Kara’s Instagram, which made me feel weirdly proud to know her. When I have a minute, I take a photo of a freshly poured cappuccino and upload it to the account she set up for me even though I have no idea what I’m doing. She’ll probably tell me I’ve done it wrong, but I love that she’s so no-nonsense and just tells it like it is. I’m just about to put my phone away when I see a notification that she’s commented on my post.
Kara Wilson Interiors: my favourite! Can’t wait for my next visit to Sunshine Coffee.
I don’t stop smiling for the rest of my shift. It’s not until I get home and stretch out on the sofa with a beer and start thinking about dinner next week that I freak out. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I do know a guy who I hope can help me, or at least calm me down, so I pull up our chat.
Luke:Kara’s coming over
Rob:Book babe?
