Page 18 of Just a Little Crush
“Can you not?”
“Huh?” he doesn’t catch my meaning, though why would he? For him this is a nasty side effect of his work, it’s me who is the sick perve.
“Can you shower later?” His brow furrows while I figure out how to explain myself. “I kind of like the smoky smell.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I mean, nobody died today, right? You don’t smell of death, do you?”
“No, nobody died.” Gathering the pieces of the remote from the floor, he takes a seat beside me while he fixes it. He props one foot on the stool next to mine and our legs are so close to touching that I swear I can feel sparks zipping back and forth between us. We watch a few minutes of an old Friends episode in silence before he clocks me, leaning in a little closer to inhale his smoky, woody scent.
“So I’m supposed to just sit here while you sniff me?” he laughs.
“I’m not sniffing you!”
“Yes you are, you pervert.”Rumbled.
“OK fine, I am. Just let me smell you and stop judging me.”
“Be my guest, creep.” He spreads his arms along the back of the sofa and tips his head back, inviting me in. My booted ankle is still outstretched as I shuffle round to face him side on. I press my face to his chest and take a deep inhale, letting the deep notes of burnt hay fill my lungs. I must look insane, but I’m so drunk with lust that I don’t even care.
“Why do you like it so much?” he asks, his eyes closing softly as he starts to unwind from his day.
“I don’t know,” I lie.
“It’s not a sexy smell for me, it’s just the smell of work. I don’t even notice it.”
“I never said it was sexy.” I feel heat blooming in my cheeks.
“Yeah right,” he scoffs, turning his face towards me. “Your eyes are rolling back in your head. You’re drooling.”
“I am not!” I yell, but I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand anyway, just in case. “I think maybe because... it has nice memories for me rather than bad ones.”
“Like what?”
Could I tell him? Should I tell him? Fuck it.
“Do you remember that bonfire night when we were kids, where the pyre got out of control?”
“Yeah, that was the first night I got to see my uncle in action.”
“Yeah, he and his crew came and put the thing out. We snuck away from the crowd and watched from the edge of the clearing. You were obsessed.”
“Yeah,” he says, wistfully. “I mean, he was already my hero, but from then I wanted to be just like him.”
I get ready to dive over the edge of the cliff.“There was another first that night, too.” I bite my lip, I can’t believe I’m bringing this up. He lifts his head and turns his body sideways to face me. I search his face for a sign of recognition.
His voice drops, his words slow as they pour from him. “You’ll have to jog my memory.”
“It’s OK, it was just a silly little thing. Forget it.” I shake my head and move to turn away, but he grabs my good hand and pulls me back towards him, even closer than before.
“It can’t have been that silly if you still remember,” he says. With his eyes on mine and fingers resting in my palm, I feel like I’m burning up inside.
“It was the first night I held hands with a boy.” A muscle in his jaw ticks and when he swallows, I know he must remember it too.
“With me?”
“Yeah. With you.”
