Page 81 of Out of Bounds
“Girl… Kreed is at my house more than he’s at his. He’s always over, doing shit with the kids, which turns into all of us hanging out. When it’s his weekend with all of the kids, they’ll call and invite me to come hang out.”
“And you go?” she asked perplexedly.
“I mean…”
“Masai…” she drawled. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No.” I shook my head vehemently. “I’m just… Shit. I don’t know what I’m doing, okay. I’m confused. There… I said it.”
And this was the very reason I hadn’t said anything to Koya or Jream about what had been taking place lately. I had somehow found myself in a situation that I didn’t know how to get out of.
“How, Masai? Like… what the fuck happened?”
Biting down on my bottom lip, I stared out to the field. “At first, it was just conversations about the kids. A few text messages here and there. One weekend, he had all of the kids, and Kree ended up getting sick. I was supposed to be spending the night with Lamar and ended up having to leave to take Kreed some medicine for Kree.
“It was late, I was tired, so I spent the night. I ended up in bed with the two boys while he slept downstairs. I woke up to the kids asking for breakfast, so we did that as afamily. And shit… it really went on and on from there. We started FaceTiming each other. He started calling late at night to talk about nothing in particular.
“And friend… it really just escalated from that point. I’m so conflicted because I’ll never forget how I felt the moment Ashton approached me. The way my heart ripped to pieces when I first saw KJ’s picture—how betrayed I felt. Yet, I catch myself slowly stepping back into the role of his wife. And that’s what messes with me the most because if he were still the same man who broke me, this would be easy. But he’s not. I look at him, and all I see is the man that I’ve loved for all of these years. The man who catered to my mind, body, and my fucking soul.”
“Masai… You’re falling back in love with your husband.”
I looked over at Koya. “That’s the thing. I don’t think I ever felloutof love with him.”
“Babe. This is… something.”
“Ya think?” I snorted. “Imagine having to go through it.”
“What about Lamar?”
“IlikeLamar…” I stressed.
“But you love Kreed,” she finished the sentence for me.
“I love Kreed,” I acknowledged because it was true. “And I don’t know what to do with those feelings.”
Koya grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Babe, I’mma hold your hand when I say this… You need to take a step back from Lamar and figure out whatMasaireally wants. Because from where I’m sitting, babe, you’re not ready to move on.”
In a way, Koya wasn’t doing anything but confirming what I’d already been feeling but wouldn’t admit. I was so busy trying to stand on business, not even realizing that the business was in my face more than my kids. The one thing that Koya said that really stuck out to me was that I needed to pump the brakes with Lamar. She was right. I needed to take a step back until I could sort through my feelings and make a decision once and for all about Kreed Dolla.
Flipping the steaks over in the pan, I cradled my phone between my shoulder and cheek. “You are lying…” I dragged out. “I know she didn’t do that.”
“Yes, the fuck she did.” Kreed laughed. “Deuce was so fucking mad.”
“I bet he was!” I laughed. “We gotta find a new place for her now. And I’m going to go out on a limb and say the nursing home is negligent because someone should’ve been watching her.”
“That’s what I told Jream. Yeah, Ma Dukes done got wild.”
“Wild is an understatement.” I laughed. “Have y’all dropped KJ off yet?”
“Yeah. We ain’t too long pulled back up to the house.”
“Okay. Tell them I’ll call them before they go to bed and let Maddie Claire know I’ll be at her school at ten.”
“Aight. Goodnight, Sai.”
“Night, big head,” I said before ending the call. Pulling the phone down from my ear, I set it on the counter. “My bad about that. Jream’s mom lives in a nursing home, and her aide walked in on her tonight with another resident in bed with her.”
“What the hell!” Lamar chuckled. “How the hell did that happen?”
