Page 64 of Out of Bounds
“It was. I missed them,” I admitted. “I’m an outsider now, though.” I giggled lightly.
“Sometimes being on the outside isn’t a bad thing.”
His words warmed my insides, and I smiled. “You are absolutely right about that.”
“What do you have a taste for? I think I’m going to go with the ribeye. I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”
“The eggplant parmesan sounds good, but I’m also looking at the carbonara.”
“You should get both,” he offered. “After all, tonight is about you. My way of congratulating you for doing a good job.”
“Stop it…” I drawled, knowing my face was probably crimson red by now. “I was just doing my job.”
“It’s still a job well done.” Clasping his hands together in front of him, Lamar eyed me. “You look good tonight, Masai. Not that you don’t look good every time I see you. I don’t know… I can’t make out what it is, but you lookdamngood.” His eyes journeyed up and down the parts of my body that were in plain view before he nodded in approval. “Yeah, I’m enjoying the view.”
I flirted with my eyes and leaned in. “Tell me more.”
He chuckled after a few seconds and took a sip of his drink. “You are trouble, little lady.”
“The best kind.” I giggled and took a sip of my drink as well.
Lamar didn’t look too bad himself. His lineup was crisp, and he smelled heavenly. The entire time we’d been at the table, he’d been giving me that panty-wetting smile.
“I have to fly out to Bristol in a couple of weeks. Think you can spare a few free days in your schedule?”
“Work or leisure?”
“Work, but if you say you’ll join me, I can squeeze in some leisure time.”
“What are the dates? And what are you going for?”
“I’ll have to check with my assistant for the exact dates, but I’ve gotta go to headquarters to take care of some logistical business as well as press for the upcoming season. Nothing major.”
“Oh, okay. Get me the dates, and I’ll see what I can make happen.”
“That’s not going to pose as a problem with your job, will it? I know you haven’t been back that long.”
“Not at all.” I shook my head rapidly. “I come and go as I please.”
“Well, in that case, I hope you can join me.”
“So do I.” I batted my eyelashes.
As dinner went on, Lamar and I talked about everything that we could think of. It was refreshing being able to just yap about nothing in particular. We debated about sports a lot, being that he was a basketball player and football was my favorite sport. That led to him inviting me to attend a few games with him. In his words, he wanted to introduce me to the other side of sports, the non-contact side. I had to tell him that I’d caught clips of a few NBA games, and if he considered the way Draymond Green played non-contact, then he needed his eyes checked. We laughed for a good ten minutes at the Golden State power forward and his rambunctious behavior on the court.
Lamar was good company, and our dinner went better than I expected. When it was over, he paid the tab and was fully prepared to end the night there. All night, I had been building up the nerve to go through with my plan. The drinks that I’d consumed throughout the night gave me all the courage I needed to invite him back to the room, to which he agreed. Upon arrival,I let him know that I was fully cognizant of what I was asking for. There was no need for him to make it a big deal. I wanted, no, I needed this to happen tonight. He was hesitant at first, but I assured him that I was ready, so my goal was achieved.
I wish I could express how it was, but I couldn’t find the words once it was over. It was as if my body was there, but my mind was miles away. Physically and mentally, I was in a place of certainty, but when the deed was done, I realized I was a fucking basket case emotionally. I’d never felt more exposed in my life than I did in this moment. I’m proud of myself for holding it together as well as I did.
Lamar was the perfect gentleman. Nothing he did was wrong—in fact, I’d asked for it. This was all me and my conscience. As soon as I bid him a good night, I scrubbed my skin until it was damn near raw. The thought of being touched by another man had my stomach turning. I was an emotional fucking wreck.
Now that I’d showered and allowed myself to feel every emotion with confidence, I can confirm that nothing about what had taken place was freeing. In fact, it was the complete opposite. I lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling with tears pouring down both sides of my face—guilt-ridden as if I owed it to anyone to abstain from sexual activity.
Maybe I’d rushed into it. Perhaps I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was. Maybe my body truly only responded to one man. Regardless, it happened, and now I had to process what that meant since I wasn’t feeling the way I’d assumed I would when I planned this night.
EIGHTEEN
DOLLA
