Page 28 of Out of Bounds
“Then how, Kreed? How did Ms. Nothing Special become your side chick?”
“She was never my side chick, Sai.” Sighing dejectedly, I closed my eyes and replayed the entire thing in my head.
Masai had convinced herself that I was just out here fucking around when that was the furthest thing from the truth. In my heart, I also knew that no matter what I said or how I explained it, my wife was never going to take me back. I ruined the sanctity of our marriage. My coming clean was nothing more than meputting her mind at ease. Shit, to keep it real, I didn’t know if it would even allow her to rest better.
What I did know was that I couldn’t just sit here and let her think that one lapse in judgment was something more than it was. “Masai, you remember the night I met up with the boys at Copper Cove?”
“Yes.”
“Aight, so we got fucked up. Prolly me more than anybody else. But Deuce and Jrue dipped, and I decided to kick it with my rookie a lil’ longer. My plan was to chill and sober up so I could drive home. I remember getting up to go take a piss, and everything after that was foggy as shit. Remember how, when I finally did make it to the crib, you kept asking me if I had a good time, and I couldn’t answer.”
She huffed. “Yes, I remember, Kreed.”
“That’s because I didn’t. One minute, I’m pissing at the stall, and the next, I’m fucking some random broad in the bathroom stall.” I stopped talking to give Masai time to process what I’d just said. The two of us sat there watching each other without breaking eye contact. A few seconds later, Masai tossed her head back and laughed. She was laughing like her ass was fucking possessed, and I didn’t know how to respond, so I stayed silent.
When she stopped laughing, she raised her head up and cocked it to the side. “You really think I’m dumb enough to believe that shit?”
“Masai, on my ki?—”
“Don’t put a fucking thing on my kids!” she roared, causing me to stand upright.
Holding my hands up, palm side out, I confessed, “Baby, don’t you think that if I was out here really having an affair that I wouldn’t be careful? Ain’t no way you think I’mma step out on you and go have a baby with another broad. Come on, Sai. You know me better than that… I wouldn’t slip like that.”
Dropping her head, she shook it. “I saw the messages, Kreed.”
“Messages thatsheshowed you. Messages where she was begging me to leave you and be a family with her. In those same messages, baby, not once did you see me entertain that bullshit.”
Ripping off a paper towel from the roll sitting on the kitchen island, Masai dabbed the corners of her eyes. “I know what I saw.”
“You saw what she wanted you to see. Ashton’s entire plan was to get you to leave me, baby. And the shit worked.”
“You have a baby, Kreed.”
“Yeah… she DM’d me a few weeks later with a positive pregnancy test. I thought she was playing games, so I asked for a DNA test.”
“Why didn’t you say something when you found out?”
“’Cause I knew you was going to leave.”
“That wasn’t fair to me, though,” she cried.
“I never said it was. It was selfish as shit, but I’on regret it.”
“Just like you don’t regret the baby.”
“Nawl, I don’t. I fucked up, and that’s on me, not him. But, Masai, I promise… it was one time, and she and I haveneverplayed house. In fact, the only time I’m ever in the same vicinity as her is when I’m going to see Kreed Jr.”
“You still could’ve told me…”
“I should’ve told you. Me not telling you makes me look like I was trying to hide the shit, and maybe I was. But there was no ill intent behind it other than the fact that I knew you would leave me, and losing you is like losing my life. I’ve been lifeless for two months, Sai.”
“You damaged me, Kreed. Not only am I hurt, but you broke me. You got a baby, and instead ofyoucoming clean, you allowed her to step to me and paint a different narrative. Everyday I’ve gotta look at my kids and explain why Mommy and Daddy can’t live together.
“Every day I’ve gotta tell them, ‘No, they’re not getting a new Daddy.’ Every single day since this shit has come out, I’ve had to put on a brave face when in reality, I’m breaking down inside. My heart feels like it’s been ripped from my chest and stomped on. At times, I feel like I can’t breathe. How do I just up and forgive this?
“If it was just sex, I could get past it, possibly. But a baby… one that didn’t come from me is absolutely where I draw the line. Regardless of how he came to be, he’s here. And I can’t get over that.”
“I understand, and as much as I don’t want to, I get it. But, baby, it’s always been just you. Never anybody else, Masai. I love you,” I avowed.
