Page 26 of Out of Bounds
“Right. So. You do realize if you were to forgive Kreed and take him back, then that means, ultimately, you would be the stepmother of his illegitimate child.”
Groaning inwardly, I frowned. “Please don’t remind me.”
“No, I have to say this because you need to know what the future looks like. Are you willing to step up and care for that child when he’s in your home? Regardless of the resentment you hold for the situation, he’s still part of your husband and is your children’s sibling.”
“That baby didn’t ask to be brought into this mess. I wouldn’t dare mistreat him because of my husband’s actions. Would he serve as a constant reminder of the situation that broke me? Absolutely, but I know that forgiving Kreed would be me accepting that child as my own.That’swhat I don’t think I’m ready for.”
“And that’s valid.” Grabbing my hands into hers, Koya gave them a squeeze. “Masai, no one is rushing you to make a decision. There is no time limit on grief. You’re allowed to take as much time as you need to process things.
“You’re also allowed to be angry—to go through the motions. Hell, you’re even allowed to spend time with your husband. Whatever your heart is telling you to do, you’re allowed to do it. There is no right or wrong way to go about this. You’re not the first wife who’s had to deal with a philandering husband. Just like you’re not the first to have a baby made on them.
“Shit… look at Bria Anderson. Baby girl said we gonna raise our kids, the side kids, and we gonna stay together. That girl ain’t letting nobody take her man.”
That shit made me laugh. When I say I laughed, I straight howled because I needed to hear that. I know I wasn’t the firstand probably wouldn’t be the last. I just never thought this would be my reality. Once the laughter subsided, Koya finished what she was saying.
“No shade to Bria ’cause, bitch… I feel you. But I said that to say, don’t rush yourself to make a decision. Give yourself grace and time. If the divorce is what you want, then we know how to proceed. You thought anymore about the job offer?”
“I haven’t.” Nibbling on my lip, I kind of felt embarrassed.
Koya had a friend who owned her own law firm, and when I expressed wanting to go back to work, she slid her my number. The two of us had talked previously, in which she let me know that when I was ready, I had a spot at her firm. I just hadn’t decided if I was really ready to hop back into corporate America.
“No worries. You know the offer for you to come back is always on the table. You just gotta make the call.”
“I know.” I exhaled. “Kreed is still paying for everything, so I’m not in a rush.”
“Understandable. Again, move when you’re ready. Not when everyone thinks you should.”
“You’re right. Thank you, Koya, for everything. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Touché. And I don’t ever plan on finding out. You can leave Kreed, but leaving me isn’t an option,” she said in her usual sass.
Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I pulled her into a hug. Koya had been a beacon of light in this dark atmosphere that I was in. It was our daily talks that kept me from jumping off a cliff. I thanked God every day for blessing me with this friendship.
The constant ringingof my phone jarred me from my sleep. Looking over to the opposite side of the bed, I slid out of it and grabbed my phone off the nightstand. Walking out of the room, I closed the door behind me. “Hello.”
“I’m outside!” she blurted out before ending the call.
I sucked in a deep breath and scrubbed my hands down my face before jogging down the steps. When I snatched the door open, her back was to me, but it didn’t take long for her to turn and face me.
She’s drunk.
“Masai, it’s late.”
“No shit,” she retorted and pushed me out of the way.
Entering the crib, she looked around as if it were the first time she’d been here. She’d just dropped the kids off this morning, so her wondering eyes confused me. Pushing the door closed, I palmed it and gave myself a second to calm my racing heart.
When I turned toward her, she was standing there staring at me, almost like she was searching for something. “Is everything okay?”
“No, Kreed, it’s not,” she stammered before walking off. “Is she here?”
“Iswhohere, Masai?”
“Don’t fuck with me right now! Do you have her here while my kids are here?”
“Masai, no one is here. The kids are upstairs sleeping.”
Her ass ain’t believe me because she narrowed her eyes into slits before continuing to venture further into the house. Trailing her down the hall, I took note of her disheveled look. Masai was fucked up and had driven her ass over here in an impaired state. I was pissed because anything could’ve fucking happened to her.
