Page 60 of Out of Bounds
“You think she wanted to be set free?”
“What’s up with all of the questions, Bug? You got something you want to get off your chest?”
“No, sir.” She shook her head. “I’m just asking questions.”
“In that case, I think in this situation, setting her free was for the best, regardless of what I wanted. I love your mom more than anything in this world and wouldloveto have her back. But in order for her to heal, I had to let her go. If it’s meant for us to be together, we will be.”
“I think you will.” She smiled up at me. “I overheard her telling Nana that she still loves you. I think she will come back, Dad.”
“You know, Bug… I pray she does. And just know that even if she doesn’t, my love for her will forever remain. Your mom was my best friend at one point, which brings me back to your first question.
“I don’t think there’s an appropriate or inappropriateagefor dating. I do believe that dating requires a certain level of understanding that you don’t get until you’re an adult. As for someone your age, it’s all puppy love and that doesn’t change until you grasp the concept of putting your significant other’s wants and needs above yours.”
Here I was, standing here, having a conversation with my eleven-year-old about love and relationships. Was this my life? Is this what I had to look forward to in the future? I could barely tell you how the conversation got started, but here I was, explaining love to my daughter.
“What does that even mean?” she quizzed, making me laugh.
“You won’t understand it now, but it means being able to recognize that how you move directly affects the person that you love. When you love someone, you do things in a way that not only protects you, but protects their heart too. Your intentions are always pure because the last thing you want todo is hurt someone that you care about. It’s about that person relinquishing their trust in hopes that you won’t fumble their heart.
“I had that with your mom for years. We were unstoppable, unbreakable… until we weren’t. Daddy slipped up and made a mistake that caused your mom’s trust to disappear. Now, I’ve gotta figure out a way to regain it—if I can.” I shrugged.
“In other words, I don’t want to date.” She pouted. “It sounds too complicated.”
“It is, Bug.” I chuckled. “Dating is very complicated.”
“Gosh. I don’t ever want to be an adult. It’s too much work.”
“Relationships are constant work, but again, that’s something that you will learn as you get older. They’re just as beautiful as they are complicated. When you get older and fall in love, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about. Until then, focus on being friends before you try to date.” In a childlike voice, I mimicked. “Dating sucks. Boys are yucky.”
“Oh, Dad. I love you.” She gushed and wrapped her arms around my waist.
“I love you more, Bug.” I pecked the top of her head. “Cookies should be cooled off enough. Wanna wrangle the rest of the kids and get them set up in the backyard while I put the snacks together?”
“Yes, sir.”
Pecking the top of her head one last time, I let her go so that I could get the popcorn boxes out of the pantry.
“Dad…” she called out, forcing me to turn in her direction. “Mom still loves you too.”
“I know she does, Bug.” I winked.
My baby was inquisitive just like her mother. I knew she hadn’t understood much of what I said, but the older she got, the more it would resonate. Love was a beautiful thing that I strongly felt like you genuinely got to experience once in alifetime. The type of love Masai and I shared only happened once. Because the love we shared was something out of a fucking book, a romcom, if you may.
That type of love only came around once, and I’d fucked it up. That type of love was worth fighting for. I wanted my wife back. I don’t know if that was possible at all, but I sure as hell planned on trying to find out.
Flipping through the mail,I tossed all of the bills in one pile and pushed them off to the side. One of the things Kreed made sure to include in our divorce proceedings was that he would still be responsible for the bills at the house. The luxury of not having to pay a bill was something that I appreciated. Don’t get me wrong; if he had decided not to continue paying, I had no problem taking them over.
Tonight, the Demons were playing the Bills at home, and since I hadn’t been to a game yet, I decided I would be the one to take the kids to this one. Well, I didn’t exactly decide. Maddie Claire sort of made the decision for me when she asked if I could take them to the game instead of them going with Jream. I hesitated for a few minutes before agreeing to it.
Since the divorce was finalized, I hadn’t stepped foot in the Demons stadium and really didn’t plan on it before I was suckered by a child. Hell, I’d even left the WAGS Association. I wasn’t beat for the sympathetic stares or the whispers, so I’d intentionally separated myself. My plan for the night was to slip in and out unnoticed.
When Jream and Koya found out that I was attending the game, both of them decided that they would sit in the suite with us so I wouldn’t have to be alone. I appreciated that because I genuinely didn’t know how I would feel being there once I was there.
“Masai, these were just delivered for you,” my mom announced as she stepped into the kitchen, carrying an arrangement of flowers.
“Awww. Who are these from?”
“Check out the card.” She smirked and placed them on the counter in front of me.
