Page 55 of Out of Bounds
“I haven’t necessarily beensneakingoff,” I lied. I was definitely sneaking off to talk to him.
The night we exchanged numbers, he reached out like he said he would. Initially, I thought I would hold onto his number until I was ready to date again. But that night, the banter just went on and on. It started with us just texting, but Lamar gave good conversation, and I enjoyed talking to him so much that we started talking on the phone. Then came the occasional FaceTime calls. Over the past month, we had gone out for drinks twice, and I would be lying if I said I hadn’t enjoyed being in the presence of a man without there being any strings attached.
“Does my brother know?” Jream quizzed.
“Oh, so now he’s your brother?” I joked. “What happened to ‘You need to date, Masai.’Were you just saying that to say it?”
“No, I meant it.”
“Okay then,” I said, shuffling in my seat. “No, Kreed doesn’t know, and he won’t because Lam and I are just friends.”
“Lam!” Jream and Koya tittered.
“You gave him a nickname?” Koya shrieked. “Masai, do you like him?”
“He’s a really nice guy. We have good conversation.”
“He’s a really nice guy,” she repeated before falling back on the couch and flailing her legs in the air. “Sai’s about to give up the yams.”
Popping her on the thigh, I shook my head. “I am not.”
“You really like him, Sai?” Jream queried.
“He’s a good guy, Jream. He’s a fifty-seven-year-old, divorced father of two. His kids are fourteen and ten. Infidelity wasn’t a factor in his marriage; they simply grew apart and have remained really good friends. We have a lot in common, believe it or not.”
“I need to meet him before I decide if I like him or not.”
“That’s fair, Jream.” I laughed. “We’re just friends, though. If it were to go further, you guys will be the first ones to meet him.”
I understood why Jream was looking at me with uncertainty. She and Kreed were extremely close, and all she’s ever known was us as a couple. Much like it was taking me some adjusting, I’m sure it was the same for her. I respected her hesitancy, and I didn’t plan to push the conversation into awkward territory, but I was sure her silly self would.
“Didn’t he play in the NBA for a brief time?” Koya queried, breaking the silence.
“He did.” I nodded. “Drafted to the Sacramento Kings and played two seasons before being diagnosed with a heart condition. He didn’t want to risk his health, so the team retired him. He went on to coach college ball before accepting a position with ESPN last year.”
“Dated an MLB player in college, married an NFL player, and now you’re casually dating an NBA player. My girl good in the sports world!” Jream teased, causing Koya and me both to laugh.
“I dated Johnston in college. Yes, my ex-husband is a professional football player. But I didn’t know anything about Lam before a month ago. I’m not good in anything,” I denied.
“All I’m saying is… I know who to hire as a matchmaker if Jrue and I break up.” She winked.
“I am no matchmaker. Seriously, guys! I’m just having fun. I’m enjoying his company, but I don’t see this being anything more than that.”
“Do tell…” Koya suggested.
Taking a sip out of my glass, I rolled my eyes before sharing, “He wants to get married again. He’s adamant that he’s meant to be a husband and not a boyfriend.”
Jream snapped her fingers. “Okay! We love a man with a master plan.”
“We do, Jream. However, I’m not sure if I want to be anyone’s wife again. I’ve been down that road before.”
“And it didn’t work out, but that’s life. What would be the reason for you not to get married again?”
Pursing my lips, I thought of the many reasons that would prevent me from wanting to get married again. The main one is the emotional rollercoaster of thinking what you have is forever, only for it to end in divorce.
“It’s not because I don’t believe in love, because I still do. After everything that I went through, the idea of trusting someone that deeply again feels dangerous. When Kreed and I got married, I thought I was building something that was destined to last; I was all in. Emotionally, mentally, physically, hell, even spiritually; that man had my whole being. I knew without a doubt that I’d found my lifelong partner.
“I knew my heart was safe in his arms, and then it happened, he cheated. And suddenly everything I thought was real unraveled right in front of my face. When I started to question what I had done to cause him to step out, I knew I never wanted to give anyone else that type of power over me.
