Page 23 of Out of Bounds
Instead of pushing me away, Masai accepted the temporary moment of affection. When I heard her soft sniffles, I pulled back and whispered into her ear, “I love you, Masai Dolla. It’s never been a question of how much because the love is limitless. I ruined us, and I’m going to be the one to fix us. I’m not letting you go—there will be no divorce.
“Take all the time you need, but know that when it’s all said and done, wewillbe together, and we’re going to be happy. You can bet on that,” I avowed before pecking her cheek.
Come hell or high water, I was getting my wife back. And I meant that shit. It might not be tomorrow—hell, it might not even be this year—but I was getting her back. There was no me without Masai, and I refused to let her just up and walk away.
It had beena little over two months since my husband’s secrets came out. After the conversation he had with the kids about living outside the house, I had to do damage control. I contemplated whether I should put the girls in therapy because everyone had lost themselves. The first week or so, Maddie Claire and Charleigh Anne were depressed. I couldn’t get the two of them to come out of their rooms, no matter what I promised. Sophie wouldn’t talk until after speaking with Kreed every day, and sometimes it would be hours before she gave in. The life had been sucked right out of them since he left that night.
My kids were hurting so bad, and I knew I had to put aside my own misery to alleviate theirs. It wasn’t a full two weeks before I ended up calling Kreed and asking him to come home. He wasn’t off the hook; therefore, we didn’t share a bed. He slept downstairs in one of the guest rooms, and for a few days, things felt like they did before our worlds blew up. I was in a fog because my kids were smiling and happy, and I didn’t have to worry about their mental states anymore.
I had started to feel better about our arrangement and slipped up by allowing Kreed back in the bedroom. That shitlasted all of four days before my own mind couldn’t stop reeling at the fact that he had sex with someone else. I realized I was selling everyone a fantasy, and it felt wrong. I had no plans to reconcile with their father, so his still being in the house, and now back in our bedroom, gave everyone, including myself, a false sense of hope.
Eventually, I made him leave, and rightfully so. I agreed that he could come to the house as much as he pleased to see the kids, but I’d made a new habit of leaving when he came. Kreed had found him a rental, but he hadn’t set it up for them to come and stay yet, so that’s how we operated until today.
Today was the first day that the kids would be spending time with him at his new place. Not only were they going to his house, but they were staying the entire weekend. I didn’t even attempt to act as if I was okay. I was anything but fucking good—I was in shambles. My emotions had been running high ever since I opened my eyes this morning.
I’d packed their bags last night, and now we were sitting around the table while they ate breakfast. Kreed and I agreed that I should drop them off on this first visit so that I could see where he was now living. I thought I was doing okay, but earlier this week, I’d been photographed coming out of the divorce attorney’s office, so now there were talks online about what had taken place between the two of us. I decided the best thing for me to do was to stay offline. I went from being active and posting daily to now going ghost.
“Mommy, are you staying at Daddy’s new house with us?” Aurora asked. Poor child was clueless about the changes going on around her. I was trying to preserve as much of her innocence as possible. The older three understood, but my baby girl was lost.
I wanted to tell her, “Fuck no, and fuck your Daddy,” but instead, I said, “No, ma’am. This weekend is just for you guys and Daddy.”
Dropping her fork on her plate, she looked up at me and smiled. “Mommy, do you miss Daddy?”
“Immensely…” I uttered truthfully. I did miss Kreed; I missed him so much that I wanted to give in so badly and try to make it work.
“I miss Daddy too. He not here when it’s Twitch time.” She sulked.
“Well, the good thing is you’re going to see him today, and you all have the entire weekend together.” I smiled when she nodded.
Standing from the bar stool, I passed Kree off to Maddie Claire and rushed out of the room. I had to get my emotions in check in order to have the strength to do this. I took a few minutes to myself, and once I was pulled together, I ambled back into the kitchen.
“Finished everyone?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Okay. Put your plates in the sink and grab your bags, please.”
Snatching Kree up, I held him to my chest and went to the garage so I could start the truck. Once I had him strapped in his car seat, I pecked his cheek before shutting the door. One by one, I got the kids loaded up in the truck. After plugging Kreed’s address into the GPS, I slid my shades on my face and backed out of the garage.
Kreed’s house wasn’t far from where we currently resided, so it only took fifteen minutes to get there. When I pulled into his driveway, I dialed his number.
“Y’all here?” was how he answered the phone.
“Yep.” I popped and pressed the button on the steering wheel to end the call.
Unfastening my seat belt, I leaned my head against the headrest and sighed. This was my new normal, and I had to get used to it. I knew this was what it was, but for some reason, I was still emotional as hell.
When I leaned my head up, I noticed Kreed had walked out of the house and was on his way down the driveway to greet us. My breathing labored as I watched the way his muscles flexed with every step he took. He had gotten his locs freshly twisted into ropes and had them hanging down his face and shoulders. He had on a pair of black Nike shorts that fell to the middle of his thighs, and he was bare-chested. He looked damn good, but he wasn’t shit, and I wouldn’t fall for it again.
Unlocking the door, I hopped out so that I could help him with the kids. Kreed took one look at me and tucked his bottom lip between his teeth. The longer he stared at me, the more uncomfortable I felt.
This shit is going to be harder than I thought.
“What’s up, Sai?” he finally said after eyeing me for what felt like forever.
“Hey…” I breathed. “They just had breakfast. I packed their tablets and headphones, in case you take them out.”
“We gon’ kick it around here. I’mma throw some meat on the grill later and let them swim.”
