Page 21 of Out of Bounds
Sai rolled her eyes before walking away from the door. Like a love-struck fool, I shut the door and followed behind her. Without breaking her stride, she called over her shoulder. “The girls are in their rooms. I just put Kree down for a nap.”
Instead of responding, I continued to trail her through the house. When we made it to the top floor, I stood by the stairs and watched her walk into the room. She spun around and stared at me for a few seconds before slamming our bedroom door. As cold as she was being, her beauty was undeniable. The mere two minutes of being near her gave me a slight boost, being that I missed her so fucking much already.
Dropping my eyes to the floor, I sighed dejectedly. Eventually, my feet started to move in the direction of our children’s rooms. Sticking my head into Maddie Claire’s room first, I whistled, gaining her attention.
“Hey, Dad,” she mumbled somberly before sitting up in bed.
“Hey, baby.” I breathed. “Can I come in for a quick second?”
“Sure.” She waved me over.
Venturing further into her room, I sat at the foot of the bed. “You been doing okay?” I asked, knowing damn well she hadn’t. Maddie Claire’s eyes looked sad, almost like she knew what was going on between her mother and me.
“No, sir,” she finally whispered. “Are you and Mom getting a divorce?”
“Why’d you ask that, baby?”
“I overheard Nana telling one of the ladies from the church that you messed up, and now Mommy is going to leave you.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I pushed it out before addressing her. “Listen, baby. Daddy definitely messed up, and I did hurt your mom.”
“But you can make it better, right? Apologize and buy her some flowers, Daddy!” she said, sounding hopeful.
“If only it was that simple, baby.”
“But it is. When you forgot about Sophie’s recital, Mom was so mad. You bought her flowers. Remember, Daddy? She wasn’t mad after you bought her the flowers.”
“I know, Bug. But this time… Daddyreallymessed up.” Grabbing her hands, I held them in mine. “I’m going to be out of the house for a while. In my absence, I need you to take care of your mom and help her with the kids.”
“Dad…” she whined. “I don’t want another daddy.”
“Who said anything about another daddy, Maddie Claire?”
“When Amber’s mommy and daddy got a divorce, Amber got a new daddy.”
“I’m youronlyfather, Bug. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t be living here, but I’ll still be around.”
“You promise?” she asked.
“Yes, Bug. Daddy will still be here. I’ll only be a call away. Anytime you need me, you pick up the phone and call me. I will drop everything and come to you.”
Maddie Claire’s bottom lip quivered as she blinked back her tears. “I don’t want you to not stay here, though.”
“I know, Bug.” Tugging her to me, I sat her across my lap and wrapped my arms around her. My baby lay her head on my chest and cried, and that shit fucked me up so bad. I had to fight back my own tears to show her everything was going to be fine, even though they were going to be different.
I came from a broken home, and I knew what the fuck it felt like to watch everybody around me get the chance to experience both of their parents under one roof. It’s the reason I’d stayed sodevoted to my wife and my marriage. I never wanted my kids to feel that void that I’d felt for the majority of my life. I did all this work only for me to turn around and do that same shit to them.
I was a fucked-up ass individual. Hurting Masai was one thing, but hurting my kids was something I promised myself I would never do. I held onto my baby until she’d cried herself to sleep. Once I was sure she wasn’t waking up, I tucked her in bed and slipped out of her room quietly.
I wasn’t equipped to have this conversation multiple times, so after wrangling the other three, I had them meet me downstairs in the living room. After telling them I was moving out because I’d done something I shouldn’t have done and had to suffer the consequences, naturally, they had questions. Charleigh Anne and Sophie took the news the same way Maddie Claire had. Aurora was only four, so she couldn’t understand why I wasn’t staying. I kept having to repeat that Daddy had made a bad choice and Mommy needed her space. Once Aurora understood that I wasn’t going to be home at night anymore, she broke my heart even more when she asked who was going to Twitch with her. She knew her motherhatedthat shit and that I was her only option. After promising her that I would create an account and get on with her anytime she wanted, she shrugged it off.
I’d shed so many fucking tears today, I was to the point where I was emotionally tapped out. Once I’d gotten the girls back upstairs, I decided to go and try to have a conversation with Masai. Knocking on the door softly, I called out for her.
“Masai.”
“It’s open,” she murmured just loud enough for me to hear.
Pushing the door open, I stood there stoically, unsure of my next move. It wasn’t until Masai picked Kree up that my feet started moving. My baby boy held his arms out and reached for me. The minute I had him in my grasp, I let out a sigh ofcontentment. Kree was too young to be aware of the changes that were getting ready to take place in his life. He was only a one year old, so I knew I didn’t have to explain anything to him because he wouldn’t comprehend.
