Page 20 of Out of Bounds
“I’m already knowing.” I shook my head. “She put me out the crib, done blocked my number, and changed the cameras’ passwords. The kids been blowing me up left and right, but I’m too ashamed to face them.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t hide out and neglect them kids. They need you the most right now ’cause you know Sai over there thinking she’s masking this shit, but them kids know something ain’t right.”
“Man… how I’mma face my kids and tell them I cheated on their moms. My girls gone be hurt.”
“They already hurt. Them kids ain’t dumb, Dolla. Masai done took ’em back to the crib, andyouain’t been there at all. Hell, the only reason I pulled up on yo’ ass is ’cause Charleigh Anne called me looking for you.”
Leaning my head back, I covered my eyes with my hands. I knew my kids wanted answers; I knew I needed to sit down with them and tell them the truth, but my doing that honestly felt like I was putting the nail in the coffin for my marriage. And right now, I wasn’t ready to do so. Still and yet, that wasn’t a good enough reason not to talk to my kids. “What she say, bruh?”
“Wanted to know why you wasn’t at the crib. And you know the one person I can’t lie to is her.”
“What you tell her?”
“Shit… I told her to ask yo’ ass.” He laughed, and I shook my head. “Nawl, on the real… I told her you was taking some time for yourself, and that I would make sure you hit her up.”
“I need to go by the crib.”
“You do,” Deuce confirmed with a quick nod of his head.
“Sai don’t wanna see my ass, though.”
“She don’t.” He quipped before adding, “But she also don’t wanna be the one to have to break the news to the kids. So, there’s that.”
“Let me get my ass up,” I replied.
“Want me to take that ride with you?”
“Nawl.” I shook my head. “I need to do this on my own.”
“Aight,” he acknowledged and got up from the couch. “Me and Jrue gon’ kick it at the crib later if you want to stop by.”
“It depends on how everything goes. I’ll hit you up when I leave the crib, and let you know what I’mma do.”
“Say less.”
Deuce and I slapped hands, and before he walked out of the hotel suite, he made me promise that I would make this shit right. I told him I would try. My skeletons were out now, and the only thing I could do was pray that Masai let me tell my side of the story.
As I pulled into the driveway of the house that I could no longer call home, tears welled up, temporarily blocking my vision. To know that the family I’d built was behind those doors and that I was officially an outsider would never sit right with me. I didn’t blame Masai for putting me out. I didn’t blame her for wanting to divorce me either. Hell, I don’t blame her for any of theactions she’s taken since discovering my other child. I was to blame for everything, and that was a burden I’d have to carry for the rest of my life. I had to live with the fact that I’d scorned the love of my life.
Back when we were in college, and I saw her for the very first time, I knew I had to have her. Sai had this aura surrounding her that made the darkest of days bright. She was sassy but smart, and I could tell she was going to make something of herself by the way she spoke to those around her. Masai was dealing with a nigga who played baseball for the university when we met—some ole country-ass nigga from Alabama. That nigga ain’t have shit on me, so I went after his girl, confident she would see I was the better man for her fine ass. When I approached her, though, spitting my game, she ain’t pay my ass no attention. That didn’t deter me; if anything, I became more persistent in receiving her time.
I had this little shorty in the administration office that I knocked down for fun, and I used her to my advantage and got Sai’s schedule. When time permitted, I started to randomly show up in places where I knew she would be. If I ain’t have class, best believe I was sitting in on one of hers. I felt like the more I showed myself, the better chance I had of getting her to give in. My behaviors may have been stalkerish, but she was worth it, and I knew that way back then.
Her nigga ain’t have the mouthpiece I had, so after months of chasing her, I finally got her to pay my ass some attention. It started out with us talking on the phone, and eventually, I convinced her to start having lunch with me at the quad. On our first date, Masai told me that if I wanted her, I had to stop being so friendly with the hoes on campus. I was cool with letting them go because I knew Masai was something special. The only problem was that her ass was still in a relationship with baseball buddy. Folks around campus used to big her up because she hadme on the side while still in a relationship with her nigga. In my eyes, he was a buster because ain’t no way he let me just slide in and take his girl like that. If Masai was my girl, there wasn’t going to be any side niggas. I didn’t give a fuck if the nigga was just offering to tie her shoes—she wasn’t going to be acting as she had been when she officially became mine.
Eventually, I got tired of the back and forth and told Masai it was either him or me. It all boiled down to her choosing me, which wasn’t a surprise, and we rocked that shit out until we graduated. I ended up getting drafted to Philly for football, and Masai got into law school at Villanova University. I went for what I wanted and needed, and haven’t looked back since then. I was right about her being everything I thought she was. She’d proven it time and time again over the last fourteen years of our lives. Fucking up my relationship with her was a rookie-ass mistake. It was one that I couldn’t go back and undo.
For now, I had to switch gears and focus on how to explain what was happening to our children. Trying to get the kids to understand what I’d done without telling them exactly what I’d done was going to be the biggest feat yet. After sitting outside for a minute, I finally shut off my truck and hopped out.
The whole trek up the driveway, my heart thundered in my chest. I didn’t know if Sai was going to let my ass in the crib, or if she was going to rock my shit like Deuce had done. Regardless, I was prepared for both. Pressing the button on the Ring doorbell, I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my sweats and stood off to the side. When the door was snatched open, my wife’s face came into view.
“What are you doing here?” she asked and folded her arms across her chest.
Momentarily, I was rendered speechless as my eyes did a quick scan of her pretty face. Masai’s eyes were puffy and red, like she had finished crying not too long ago. She had on one ofher Victoria’s Secret pajama tops, and her hair was thrown up in a sloppy bun.
Apparently, I wasn’t responding fast enough because she snapped her fingers in my face, pulling me from my thoughts. “Kreed…” She gritted her teeth. “Why are you here?”
“I, uh… I came to talk to the kids.”
