Page 18 of Out of Bounds
“God, no.” I snorted. “I’m not crazy enough to stay. I would never have any peace. Every time he left the house, I would be questioning if he was going to see her or his son. That shit would drive me fucking crazy.”
“I understand. I would also understand if you chose to forgive him and stay.”
“What?” I groused.
“I would. He’s the father of your children, Masai. He’s the only man that you’ve been with.”
“He isnotthe only man I’ve been with,” I responded. He might’ve been the only one I’d been in a relationship with, but he wasn’t the only one. He’s just the one that I chose. Had I been able to look into the future, I would’ve chosen somebody else to save myself from the last four days. I fell for the dream he sold me, and it’s come back to bite me in the ass tenfold.
“Either way… your life didn’t begin when you got with Kreed, and it doesn’t end with you leaving him, if that’s what you decide to do.”
“I know it doesn’t. I’ve gotta figure out what my next move is, though.”
“I think you should go back to work. Kreed and the kids were the only reason you stopped to begin with. You’ve done a great job being a supportive wife and a loving mother. It’s time for Masai to do something for herself. You wanted to start your own practice, and I say there is no time like the present.”
“That’s a good idea, and I would love to go back to work. But Mom… I’m so out of practice. I haven’t been an attorney in, what… like eight or nine years?” I sighed.
Getting my Juris Doctor was one of my greatest moments. As my mom said, the goal had always been to start my own practice. When Kreed and I had Charleigh Anne, we agreed that my being home would be more beneficial for the family. I walked away from my dream job to be his backbone and the girls’ mom. Initially, I was thinking I would stop practicing for a few years, and once the girls got older, I would go back. It seemed like after Charleigh Anne was born, the kids just kept coming, and when I looked up, I was a mother of five. There was no way I couldstep back into the workforce and leave my kids in the care of a nanny. The money wasn’t an issue, but my sanity was. I know most women in my position did what was necessary, but I wasn’t a fan of letting another person raise my children. Therefore, my career, goals, and dreams eventually fell to the side.
“Law was your life at one point. I really think you should go back. Find a firm that will let you practice under them and start out small.”
“The kids, Mom… Who’s gonna watch the kids?”
“School is getting ready to start back, and three of them will be there. Put Aurora in Pre-K, even if it’s only for a few hours. I’ll watch Kree. We can make it work, Masai,” she responded, sounding like she had already been thinking about it before the blow-up of Kreed’s actions.
“Okay… so say we do that, I don’t even know if I could find a firm that will hire me. I spent less than three years practicing law. Mom, when I say I’m rusty, I am.” I laughed.
Of course, I wouldloveto go back to work. That would help me develop some individuality. Hell, I could show my girls that there is more to life than letting a man take care of you. I want my girls to be able to stand on their own with or without a man. After all, men lie, including their father. They fuck up and leave you exactly where I was—contemplating your life from plans you’d made almost fifteen years ago.
“All I hear are a bunch of excuses, Masai. I think you’re scared—scared to put yourself out there because you’ve had Kreed as a crutch for so many years. You’re on your way to being a single mom.”
“I’ll never be a singlemom,” I clarified. “I’ll be single, for sure, but my kids have an active father. Kreed might’ve fucked up, but he’s an excellent provider. I don’thaveto work because he’s going to continue to pay the bills at the house. But the idea of working sounds refreshing.”
“How do you know Kreed’s going to keep it normal?” she asked and cocked her head to the side, awaiting my answer.
“I just do, Mom.”
“Regardless!” she huffed. “I raised you to have your own. You owe it to yourself and to them.” She tipped her head towards my girls. “Do something for Masai, baby. Even if you practice part-time, I still think you should look into it.”
Looking out into the yard at my girls, I understood everything my mom was telling me. She’d made some valid points, and I think the fear of not succeeding was the reason I was hesitant. After a bout of silence, I finally uttered, “I’ll start fresh on Monday and see what firms are hiring.”
My mom smiled. “That’s what I like to hear.”
My decision to go back to work would pose an issue with Kreed. He was dead set on my staying home with the kids. I’m sure I would get some pushback when he finds out, but his opinions are no longer valid since he’s the reason for all of this. As my mom said, it’s time for me to do something for myself for once, in spite of how anyone feels.
I didn’t ruin my marriage or the plans we had for our life—Kreed did.
Swipingthe phone off the nightstand, I looked at the screen and groaned before answering the call. “I’m guessing the news has spread by now.”
“Yeah, fuck nigga! It has. Now come open the door,” Deuce replied in a harsh, raspy tone before banging on my ass.
Dropping my head, I sighed. I hated that I even shared locations with this nigga. I wasn’t in the mood to hear no fucking lecture ’bout shit I’d done because if anybody knew how fucked up the situation was, it was me. Sliding out of the bed, I shuffled to the front of my hotel suite and unlocked the door. When I pulled it open, I was met with an immediate fist to the jaw.
Rubbing my shit, I rotated my jaw. “I deserved that.”
“Nawl, you deserve this!” he barked before punching me in the stomach.
That gut punch caused me to fold over. “Aight, Deuce,” I mumbled while holding my stomach. Deuce pushed past me and entered the room while I stood there for a few seconds trying to get myself together.
