Page 12 of Cruelest Contract
The sudden dread threatening to swallow me is nothing new. Each time I hit a new milestone, the feeling repeats and I’mconsumed with fresh grief over the loss of my parents. I wonder where I’d be if that day of carnage hadn’t happened. Probably not jobless and forlorn in a city far from any family with only one real friend.
Birthdays were always a big deal when I was a child. There were rooms filled with colorful helium balloons and chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and enormous family dinners. For me and Gabe, there were always two customized birthday cakes so we could both feel special.
“Make a wish, Cici. Blow out your candles and all your dreams will come true.”
Twelve years have gone by since I last heard my parents’ voices and I’m still caught off guard when it hits me that I’ll never hear them again.
“Cecilia?” Alice’s concern bleeds through the connection when I’m quiet for too long.
I had closed my eyes for a moment and now I open them to see the freeway traffic loosening up. “I’m here. I think I found the silver lining. No need to battle the Phoenix rush hour until I find a job.”
“That’s the spirit. Call me later if you want to talk. Love you and Happy Birthday.”
“Love you too.”
A dull ache won’t leave my chest as I steer the rest of the way on autopilot. At the red light on the freeway exit ramp, I catch myself absently rubbing the scratchy rayon skirt fabric covering a knot of faded scar tissue below my left knee. The habit is so old that I don’t even realize I’m doing it half the time.
Those long ago days in the hospital felt endless. Even after the worst had passed and the doctors thought they could save my leg, Gabriel wouldn’t leave me. The hospital staff took pity and brought an extra cot into the room.
I was told that Gabe frantically ran out of the school’s computer lab before anyone had even told him about my accident. I’m sure he felt the same sudden inexplicable panic that struck me two years earlier when he nearly drowned in a riptide while attempting to surf. Like a slice of my soul was threatening to disconnect.
My twin and I haven’t been close like that in a very long time. With our parents gone, we were sent to separate boarding schools. And when we turned eighteen, our choices diverged permanently.
Perhaps I should be grateful that in the secretive, violent world of the Mafia, daughters aren’t as highly prized. Otherwise, I would not have been allowed to leave.
As the light flicks to green, I conduct a quick phone check. No new calls or messages. Despite a wave of disappointment, I’m sure Gabe won’t forget to call. There are two cupcakes in the ribboned bakery box on the seat beside me. I’ll stick a candle in each for our birthday. When you’ve entered the world as part of a matched set, it’s second nature to think in terms of pairs.
My apartment is located too close to ASU to be peaceful. With my lease up this summer, I’ve been researching condos. No home has felt meaningful since my parents were killed. Maybe a place of my very own, that I could paint and decorate as I please, would feel different.
Too bad this whole plan has just gone up in smoke. Nobody gives a mortgage to an applicant receiving unemployment checks.
As a final cherry on top of this shitty day, a rented black Porsche is sitting in my assigned parking place. I’m forced to circle around the complex until finally finding an open spot by the pool.
There’s a couple in the water. His muscled arms are wrapped around her and they are kissing deeply, soulfully. A stab of envyis unavoidable. There’s no one waiting for me at home except a hostile cat. I can only fantasize about falling into strong arms while crying, “I had the shittiest day!” and then cuddling on the couch with cartons of impulsively ordered takeout food before being carried off to bed.
Instead, I’ve been dateless for two years. Sex is a vague, puzzling memory. And I’m not only unemployed but all this relentless desert sun reminds me that a brutal summer is on the way.
I feel the sweat sticking to the back of my neck as I juggle my purse, my water tumbler, my work tote and a cupcake box on the walk to my building.
Two girls sit on the stucco balcony railing one floor above my apartment. One girl swings her bare leg over the edge and there’s a blend of music and loud voices coming from inside. I wonder if any of them belong to the Porsche that stole my parking spot.
Normally such a minor issue wouldn’t make me feel so annoyed but this has been a rough day. I’m about one inconvenience away from going full Dark Alice and weaponizing a roll of tinfoil.
The door to my ground floor apartment opens too easily but this doesn’t really register right away. I’ve already stepped inside before I see the man sitting in the kitchen nook.
He’s silhouetted in the light seeping in through the slatted window blinds and I’m too shocked to scream. The cupcake box falls out of my hand.
People tend to believe they’ll have a surge of superhero bravery when faced with danger. I know all too well it doesn’t work that way.
But then I blink and a weight is lifted. I feel a smile lighting up my face.
My brother picked the perfect time for a surprise visit. We haven’t celebrated our birthday together in ages.
“Gabriel,” I squeal, ready to run to him for a hug.
“Nope.” He stands up and he’s not my twin. In the shadows, Gabe and Angelo happen to look a lot alike.
“What the hell are you doing here?” My smile has already been replaced with a scowl and I cross my arms.
