Page 210 of Strange Seduction
I skipped to the following video. Now she was on the jet, en route to Italy.
“Okay, so I’m about to land and I’m pretty nervous,” she said with a bright but unsure grin. “It’s been a long time. I’m not too worried, though. Teddy and I are pretty locked in.”
My chest tightened. She continued, “Still. It’s been so long. I know he loves me, I just hope he still likes me.”
I moved onto the next video.
“First day!” she said, smiling a little for the camera. “Solo lunch because Theo’s working.”
My grip on the device only intensified. “He’s got a lot going on. Can’t expect him to stop working cause I’m here, right?”
Next video.
“This is kinda sexy, y’know,” she voiced over.
I looked into the camcorder, surprised. “Sexy?”
“Yeah. This whole mysterious artist thing is kinda turning me on.”
The corners of my mouth twitched. Then the video shook as she sat down in the chair, setting the camcorder on the table to face us.
“Gimme a tattoo,” she said.
I blinked at her. “What, seriously?”
She looked so sure. “Dead serious.” She trusted me then…
Next video.
“Things with me and Carmen are finally feeling normal again. I didn’t think we’d fall back into rhythm so quickly, but I’m glad we did. Maybe we can finally start to enjoy our time together like a normal couple.” I was an idiot.
I skipped through the rest of the videos with a heavy heart:
Our sextapes. Some of our days out.
One included us walking through Florence. She was filming the back of me as I reached out and laced my fingers with hers.
“Say hi, baby,” she said.
I looked over my shoulder and smiled. “Hi, baby.”
She giggled.
Then came the video she recorded on the Yacht.
I watched with tears in my eyes as she spoke to the camera before handing it to me that day. She tried so desperately to convince herself that staying and forgiving me for that incident at Thanksgiving was the right thing to do. I hated that I made her question everything she stood for and all the boundaries she had put in place just to be with me.
“It’ll work itself out,” she said. And I wondered if I still believed her.
My part of the video cut me open entirely. “If you’re watching this in the future, and we’re in a better place, I hope you remember this version of us, too. The one that fought like hell for us to get it.”
I was speaking to no one. Because she was no longer here to see what we could’ve become.
In the next video, we were out on the balcony of the yacht.
I had forgotten we took this after the many glasses of wine we drank after our very explicit night together. I was shirtless, wine glass in hand, sitting back with my legs stretched out. Carmen was offscreen, giggling as she tried to zoom in.
“Say something to future us,” she teased.
