Page 204 of Strange Seduction
“Theodore,” he sighed. “I watched you build a fucking life around her. You love the fuck out of that girl. Now she pushes back one time, and you fold?”
“She didn’t just ‘push back’,” I snapped, more defensively than I meant to. “She was hurt. And I hurt her. She didn’t trust me, and she had every reason not to.”
“So that’s it? You punish yourself and let her go?”
“It’s not punishment,” I muttered, staring down at my desk. “It’s reality. I crossed a line with her. I made decisions that weren’t mine to make. I became someone she didn’t recognize.Did I expect her to give me back the ring? No. But her doing that told me everything. It’s best to call it off.”
He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “You don’t get to pull the noble martyr card, man. You messed up. So fix it. That’s what you do when you love someone.”
“I don’t think she wants me to.”
“Did she say that?”
I hesitated. “She did when she gave me the ring back.”
“That’s not an answer, Theo. That’s a reaction.”
I stood up, needing movement, or space. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see her face. She looked at me like I’d taken something from her.”
Carter watched me pace. “Did you?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “Her trust.”
There was a long pause.
“I don’t know how to come back from that.”
“You do,” he said. “You just don’t think you deserve to.”
That stopped me cold.
I looked at him, every inch of me stretched thin, barely holding. “Maybe I don’t.”
“Then what was the point of building all this?” Carter gestured around the office and the city skyline beyond it. “Why are you still here, and not spending every waking moment trying to earn her trust back?”
I didn’t answer. Because I didn’t have one.
Carter stood. “If she’s still here, talk to her. As the man who loves her. Own what you did and don’t run from it.”
“Carter, just—” I started before pinching the bridge of my nose. “Gimme a minute alone. Please.”
He stared at me for a minute before he picked up his bag and paused at the door. “If you let her walk out of your life without fighting for her, you’re gonna regret it every damn day.”
Then he left.
And I stood there, staring out the window.
I didn’t go back to my desk after Carter left. Couldn’t sit still. I couldn’t think.
So I stepped out and took a walk around the building.
The space moved fast around me, but my mind kept circling the same silence I’d left behind that morning. I checked my watch;10:37 a.m.
It was almost time to pick her up, and I wondered if I was making the right choice.
By the time I got back to the office, I picked up my phone, almost expecting a missed call or something from Carmen, but all I found was a text from Kassandra.
Kass:You free to talk?
