Page 91 of Say the Words
I took another pull from my beer, not sure I wanted to do this, even with Booker. I’d tried so hard to keep my feelings for June out of reach, talking about them couldn’t possibly make anything better after these last weeks with her.
“How long have you known?”
“From the first time you told me about her.” He tipped his beer bottle toward me. “You flew into a rage about your no good, show-off brother bringing home a sweet girl like that, how he was sure to break her heart, she deserved better. Etcetera. You always knew Bret was a dog, but it never seemed to bother you that much until her.”
Guys who wanted to keep things casual didn’t normally bring women home to meet their parents, but Bret wasn’t like other guys. He figured out in college that no matter how light he kept things with a girl, if he brought them home to Magnolia Ridge, they thought he was all in. I mostly ignored the girls he brought to family dinners, figuring they would be gone again soon enough.
I’d never been able to ignore June.
“She’s been coming out here every day, working in the barn and tending the horses. Cleaned my house, did my laundry. Stubborn like you wouldn’t believe.”
His mega-watt smile lit up. “Sounds familiar.”
“She talked me into letting her take Miss Kitty on a solo ride. She strong-armed me into letting her have a Girl Scouts troop out here.”
“She strong-armed you?” He feigned amazement. “Tough woman.”
I had to smile over how easily she got me to do whatever she wanted. I was wrapped around her little finger, and the only word on my lips wasmore.
“But this is just a side trip for her,” I said, shutting down those thoughts as fast as they came up. “She’s heading back to Austin after the wedding.”
He splayed a hand. “I don’t see the problem. Austin isn’t that far.”
“It’s worlds away from the life I have here and you know it. Even if my wildest dreams for my training business came true, it wouldn’t be much compared to the sort of life she has in front of her.”
“You realize cars exist? She could come out here on weekends—”
“I’d never be satisfied with just seeing her on weekends. I’d want it all with June.” And that was the heart of it. I wanted things with June I’d never even thought of for myself before. I wanted a life, a home, a family. But not when June would be the only one paying the cost. “I can’t make her choose between me and her career. She’s just getting her future off the ground. The right thing to do is to let her go.”
Booker rolled his eyes. “You’re too noble for your own good, you know that?”
“What can I offer her? I work this ranch twenty-four-seven. I haven’t left Magnolia Ridge in years, I can’t. This is my life, I chose it. She doesn’t have to make that choice.”
He grew more somber. “Have you told her how you feel?”
I cocked my head to the side. “Last time I told a woman how I felt about her, it didn’t go so well.”
“I love you, man, and I say this to you with all due respect, but you have got to get over yourself.”
His fake-polite advice slapped me across the face. “Excuse me?”
“You’ve got to get past this Delia thing. I’d been dumped a dozen times before I met Eden—hell, you were probably there for half of the dust-ups—but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from grabbing that woman and making her mine. You think I don’t know every day I’m the luckiest guy around? She figured out a long time ago I’m nothing but a washed-up college basketball player who couldn’t go pro.” He shrugged. “She loves me anyway. Doesn’t make sense, but I’m not going to question it. You need to get over this.”
I was over Delia in all the usual ways. I didn’t miss her or want her back, but I couldn’t just forget that kind of humiliation, either. When she came to the end of her training at the winery in Magnolia Ridge, I had opened up my heart like a fool. Or I’d started to. I had barely gotten more than a few words about my feelings out when she stopped me. Told me this thing between us had been a good time, but she would ruin her life if she stayed here with me. Said I knew her real life was in Dallas, not playing around with cowboys out in the sticks.
The idea of June tossing out a casual ‘this was fun’ over her shoulder the way Delia had tore me up until I ached from it. I had more at stake this time around. This time, I had my whole heart on the line.
Booker gathered the cards together and shuffled them. “I know you don’t want to wind up dumped again, but you’ve got to climb back on that horse. Get back in the game. Rock that woman’s world. When you’re not completely incapacitated, that is.”
“See, this is why we don’t talk about our feelings.”
He pointed the deck of cards at me like a threat, his eyes narrowing. “You got kicked by a horse.”
“I recall.”
“So are you going to quit your job? Leave training horses behind forever? Or are you going to heal up, put it behind you, and get back out on that court?”
Was it really as simple as that? Just try again? Lord, I wished it could be so easy.
