Page 100 of In the Net
“Carmen, right?” Veikko asks. As always, our hyper-literal defenseman is never comfortable without everything being explicitly spelled out. “The mean one?”
“She’s not mean,” Jamie says.
At that, everyone laughs. Even in my shitty mood, Jamie jumping to Carmen’s defense, when she’s done nothing to warrant it, has a weak smile tugging on my lips.
“Right, she’s justmisunderstood, huh?” Felix teases.
Jamie rolls his eyes.
There’s a couple beats of silence as Carter looks archly at Jamie, knowing that the poor besotted guy won’t be able to resist asking what this information is.
“What did you learn, Carter?” Jamie finally asks, the sighing tone of his voice like an admission of defeat.
“She’s Cindy’s niece,” Carter answers.
Damn. My eyebrows bounce with interest at that little morsel of knowledge. Cindy, the owner of Last Word where Carmen works, is one of the bubbliest, friendliest people I’ve ever met. Clearly, her personality type isn’t a universal family trait.
I tune out the rest of the guys’ conversation, though. I can’t shake off this shitty mood. If this is what one day without Harper is like, then …
A shudder of sadness runs through my body. I don’t even want to finish that thought.
Something turns in my head, a realization clicking into place. A realization, and a determination.
Fuck this. Fuck waiting.
I know how I feel. I know exactly how I feel. It’s stupid for me to delay making sure Harper knows, too.
Even if she doesn’t want to be with me after the need for our fake relationship has expired, and the thought alone makes my heart feel like it’s in shreds, it’s better to pull the Band-Aid off quick rather than lingering in this state.
The rest of the guys stand up to go back in the house. I push myself to my feet, too, but I have another destination in mind.
“You coming in, Sebastian?” Jamie asks from the open doorway after the other guys pile inside.
I shake my head. “Nope. I’ve got something to do.”
Jamie shrugs and closes the door behind him. With a deep breath, I step down from the porch and set off to Harper’s place.
I’m going to tell her exactly how I feel. And damn it, I’m not going to mince words.
44
HARPER
Ihad a plan.
Once we got back from the wedding, I was going to hold myself back from reaching out to Sebastian for a couple days. To give myself a sort of detox, to see how I feel after having some space and time to process the last several weeks.
I’d pay attention to things like whether or not he still sat next to me in our Short Fiction class, to gauge his attitude toward me now that we’re no longer fake dating.
Maybe in a couple days I’d reach out to him casually, suggest we go for lunch or a coffee. Try to read his mood. Try to read if there’s still any interest there. And, if I got encouraging signs, I’d start to build up the confidence to actually ask him out, to suggest we go on some real dates and see where they lead.
Right now, that plan is lying on the floor, shattered into a million pieces.
Because after just one full day without the guy I used to hate, I know that the slow approach won’t work.
I can’t go another week, another couple weeks, feeling the way I am now. I’m already miserable without my fake boyfriend,and the thought of drawing this out makes me sick to my stomach.
That’s why I’m picking my jacket up from the coatrack by the front door and shrugging it on. I’m going to Sebastian’s place right now, and I’m going to tell him exactly how I feel.
