Page 97 of In the Net
She laughs again. But that word, girlfriend, doesn’t make me laugh anymore. It’s a word I’m finding harder and harder to play around with, to use as a joke like I did when we first started this.
I don’t want it to be a joke anymore. I don’t want it to be an act. I want it to be real.
And I’m having a lot of trouble thinking of what I wouldn’t give to know that Harper feels the same way.
41
HARPER
It’s well past midnight by the time I’m back at my parents’ place, sliding under the covers in my bed.
Even though it’s late, and I’ve had such a loaded day that I should be tired, my mind is racing so much that I know sleep is going to be elusive tonight.
The way Sebastian waited for that long song to ask me to dance, the way he held me close like I was something precious to him … it almost made me dare to imagine that Sebastian’s feeling the same way I am about this relationship. That he doesn’t want it to end.
Speaking of Sebastian, my eyes are fastened to the wall that he’s on the other side of. My parents aren’t exactly prudish, but I knew they wouldn’t be down with me and my “boyfriend” sleeping in the same room under their roof. Sebastian’s in the guest room next to mine.
I wonder what he’s thinking in his bed on the other side of that wall. I wonder what he’s feeling.
Is it relief that this game we’ve been playing is finally over? Sadness sinks into me at the thought.
Is it excitement that, once he gets back to Cedar Shade, he can finally see other girls again? A bitter, dark feeling churns in my stomach. I push the idea out of my head.
I close my eyes, hoping that my thoughts will start to settle enough to get to sleep before too long. Instead, a rasping at my window sends a jolt of surprise through me that has me sitting straight up in my bed.
Maddie’s recently gotten me into listening to creepy stories on YouTube at night while I’m relaxing, and a sudden tapping on my window in the dead of night brings way too many unsettling scenarios to mind.
I sit still, holding my breath. Nothing. Maybe it was just … I don’t know, an acorn or something falling off a nearby tree? A bird perched on the windowsill tapping its beak against the glass?
Just when I’ve coaxed my heart rate back to normal, the same tapping sounds from behind my closed curtains, this time stronger.
I swing my legs over the side of my bed and stand up, feeling jittery. On my feet, I hesitate for a moment.
It’s almost with a sense of shame that I realize my first instinct is to go next door and ask Sebastian to come in to stand by my side as we check the window together.
But that’s ridiculous. I don’t need the help of some man just to pull back my curtain and satisfy my overstimulated mind that a light sound against my window doesn’t mean I’m about to be the victim of a serial killer.
With a deep breath, I finally get my legs moving. I’m just steeling my courage to peek out between the curtains, when …
“Harper?”
A voice on the other side of my window, the window that’s being rasped against in the middle of the night.
My back goes ramrod straight and I startle, pulling in a sharp, silent gasp while my heart bounces against my ribcage.
But a second later, realization washes away my panic.
I know that voice.
I throw back the curtain to see Sebastian on the other side of the glass, his outline dim but recognizable in the moonlight.
Our rooms are right above an extension my parents built onto the first floor of our house. He snuck out of his own window and crawled over the awning to mine.
I guess there are a lot of things I should be feeling about a hot guy sneaking to my bedroom window late at night—but at this moment, the strongest thing I feel is pissed at Sebastian for scaring me half to death.
I push my window open and step aside to let him in.
“Give me a fucking heart attack, why don’t you?” I grumble.
