Page 15 of In the Net
Carter’s gaze slides away from mine to lock with Jamie’s. “I don’t have the heart to break it to him,” he says, before picking up his pace to join with Veikko and Felix ahead of us.
I turn to Jamie. “What’s he talking about?”
Jamie shakes his head, his lips pulling into a smile that I can tell he’s trying to fight against. “He’s talking about Harper.”
I balk, my eyes going wide with surprise. I take a step back like I’ve just been pushed. “Harper?” I almost gasp her name. “No way. You guys are nuts.”
Jamie presses his lips tight and lifts his brow. “Yeah, totally nuts.”
I don’t like the sarcasm I detect in his voice, but I judge it best to just drop this entire conversation. The kind of girl I just described doesn’t match up with Harper at all.
I mean, except for the hair, obviously.
And except for …
I shake my head, scattering that thought to the wind.
We step into the cozy ramen restaurant. Kazu tersely and almost imperceptibly dips his head to nod in our direction, which compared to his usual attitude basically marks us as his best friends in the whole world.
I mean, except for Cindy, the curvy and vivacious owner of Last Word, Kazu’s girlfriend. Those two sure make an unlikely pair, but they seem to be perfect for each other.
The five of us place our orders at the counter and then take our usual seat in the big circular booth near the window. When we sit down, my phone rumbles in my pocket with a notification. It’s just a video an old friend sent me on Instagram.
I give it a laugh reaction, but when I press back to my home page just before putting my phone to sleep, I see something that makes a pit form in my stomach.
A picture of Bryce. My best friend.
That immediate association in my mind—Bryce, andbest friend—brings a bitter taste to my mouth. The flavor is laced with regret.
We were best friends since we were seven years old. More than best friends, we were like brothers. Inseparable.
Until tenth grade, when I got that scholarship to St. Bart’s, the prestigious prep school close to our hometown. We driftedapart slowly, then all at once, when we had a big argument and fell out during winter break in eleventh grade.
We haven’t spoken since.
The worst part? I know I was in the wrong.
Bryce was upset that I was taking his friendship for granted, prioritizing my new prep school friends over him. He called me out over being desperate for their approval and desperate to feel superior to the people I grew up with.
He was right. Instead of taking his words to heart and trying to be better, I lashed out, accusing him of being jealous.
A sad, nostalgic feeling lances into my heart as I look at the photo on the screen. It’s a group picture, at the college Bryce goes to back home in Connecticut. There’s him, a guy I recognize from our high school, and another guy I don’t know.
Bryce’s arm is slung around the shoulders of the guy I don’t know, and there’s a bright smile on his face. It’s a smile I used to be so used to, having one on my face all the time too as we cracked up together about something ridiculous that only the two of us would find funny, or even understand.
There’s not a day I don’t think about him. Not a day that I don’t wish we could still be texting each other stupid jokes, or news about our lives. I can’t imagine anyone else ever being my best friend.
Maybe I should send him a message.
But then the wave of guilt surges through me, the same feeling that always tightens my chest whenever I have that thought.
It’s been so long, and I’ve gone so long without trying to apologize. Would he even care if I reached out?
I turn off my screen and slide the phone into my pocket, a pang of remorse filling my chest.
It’s probably too late to make up for the past. Hell, just the fact that my relationship with Harper is so different from whatit used to be should make one thing perfectly clear: I’m not the person I used to be when I was still friends with them.
I’ve changed. I don’t think it’s been for the better, but I also don’t think I can change back.
