Page 194 of The Hookup Situation
For once in my life, I’m not nervous about a crowd or an opponent or the press. I’m nervous about one woman, theonlywoman who matters. The one I’ve fallen head over heels in love with without even trying.
The sound of soft footsteps pulls my attention away.
Julie.
She’s still in her Jasmine costume, though the wig and crown dangle from her hand, like she gave up pretending a few haunted rooms ago. Her real red hair tumbles around her shoulders, wild and perfect. She’s clutching her envelope in her other hand like it’s both armor and a confession.
When she steps into the glow of the lights, my lungs seize.
She’s everything.
I stand, meeting her halfway. For a moment, we just stare at each other. The party is a distant hum behind us; the night holding its breath.
“This is it,” I whisper.
“It is.”
I glance down at my phone and watch the time click to midnight. We exchange envelopes, then sink onto the bench beside one another. Our knees brush, and the fairy lights above us twinkle like stars.
“No matter what, still friends,” I say.
“No matter what, we still have time at Napa Valley,” she reminds me. “Where we’ll havetonsof sex?”
“Absolutely,” I promise. “Ready?”
Julie nods, biting her lip. “More than ever.”
My fingers tremble as I unfold hers, the orange paper catching the lights. Her handwriting curves across the page, and every word already threatens to undo me.
That’s how I feel before I start reading.
Nick,
The night we met at Booker’s, I didn’t want to admit what I felt. I told myself that meeting you was bad timing. But then you smiled at me. That ridiculous, cocky smile, and I knew right then that I wasn’t fooling myself. I wasn’t annoyed with you. I was terrified the moment our eyes locked. In that short amount of time that we spent together, I knew you were the man who could break down every wall I’d built.
I’ve thought about that night so many times. The way you leaned across the bar to chat with me and how you teased me felt right. Then you looked at me like you could see our future, and that took my breath away. Even now, it’s almost hard for me to admit. But that night, after meeting you, something permanently shifted inside me.
This was supposed to be fake, but it was impossible to pretend. I can’t stop thinking about the coffee shop kisses that left my head spinning; or the orchard, where I let myself believe in something good again; or the night you stood in my condo and told me you weren’t going anywhere. I hope you meant that.
I’ve tried to brace myself for the possibility that, tonight, you’ll decide that we were temporary and that we’re meant to be friends only. I don’t want that, but I will respect your decision, even if I disagree. If the time I had with you is all I’ll ever have, then know that I’ll cherish it for the rest of my life. I will always keep your secrets and hold the memories we shared close to my heart.
But the truth is, I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to go back to being just friends. I don’t want to let go of the only person who has ever made me feel this seen, this safe, this wanted.
So, here it is, Nick. The truth I can’t hold back anymore … I’m in love with you, and I hope you feel the same.
You’re not just my October, Nick. I want a chance at forever. You’re the calm in my chaos, the warmth in my winters, the reason spring feels possible, and the fire I’ll never stop chasing in the summer. You’re it. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner.
I don’t want it to end in November; I want it to be the start of our beginning.
You’ll always have a piece of my heart.
Julie
My chest achesas I finish the last line.You’ll always have a piece of my heart.
I can’t breathe or think. Every word on this page is everything I’ve wanted to hear but never believed I’d deserve. Booker’s. The orchard. Her condo. The pumpkins. Forever. She’s fallen in love with me.
I glance up, and she’s staring at me with those wide eyes.
